Friday, July 9, 2010

Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.

At work.
The worst hour of the week. The hour before it's quitting time.
I really have none of my own work to do but I have a bunch of shit that I'm helping other people with. There's good and bad about this.

Good - When I get yelled at it's not my fault.
Bad - I get yelled at for other peoples mistakes.

So, I realize a ton of people could care less about sports but it's a huge deal so let's discuss.

Lebron James is going to the Miami Heat with D Wade and Chris Bosh. Wow. That's quite the threesome there.

Wow. That's intense. They're being called "The Legion of Doom."
King James has really just become a HUGE villain in a lot of sports fans' eyes (not those in FL of course). Everyone is hating James and there's talk about how this is collusion and these guys have been planning this since they played in Beijing together, et al...
I think, honestly, the ugliest part of this whole thing is that these 3 guys all signed the contracts they just fulfilled to do this. It's like they were ganging up on the league and plotting this the whole time. That's kinda dirty to me. Not to mention that they all made a huge spectacle about where they were going to go. If they knew this was going to happen save everyone the god damned time and sign with the same team. Fuck. Now these over paid douchebags are stealing the attention my White Sox (winners of their last 5 and the best record in the MLB for the last month) should be getting on Chicago sports talk radio. Whatever. Here's my reasons to hate and not hate Lebron James.

Hate him because:

He took himself out of his "home." All the basketball he's played up until now has been in OH. HE started calling himself "the King" and he is now turning his back on them. All his "witnesses" are deserted and left stunned and with a pretty huge case of blue balls since he hasn't won them dick.

He just recently, in an interview, referenced the "big guy upstairs" in an interview asking him about the people he's disappointed. Woah woah woah, LBJ. I've seen you all over the place since you made a HUGE splash (deservedly) in this league. I've never once (and this confirmed by a Cleveland reporter who's job it is to interview and report on Lebron) heard him talk of his spirituality or love for the big guy upstairs. But now? Now you got some splainin' to do and you're pointing upstairs? I'm not a religious guy myself. This would disgust me if I was. It disgusts me even though I'm not. Don't be a pussy and hide behind the dude that brings everyone presents (same guy, right?) now that the heat (Heh, see what I did there?) is on.

The spectacle he made of himself is just unbelievable. His camp funded the interview. They paid Jim Grey his travel and service expenses to get to Greenwich, CT and perform the softest interview ever. Jim Grey was a god damn puppet for Lebron so that he didn't have to stand up there on his own and stumble through some bullshit that he knew was going to piss everyone off. Ya know what, hate Jim Grey too.

He's a bad man. I mean definition of a man. You think alpha male that is up to the challenge. Wants to be able to prove to everyone and himself that no one can stop him. James decided to throw in the towel. He decided to say, "Fuck it. I can't do it with this team. I am not going to go try and be the man. I am going to take a step back and share the spot with two other guys because I can't handle this on my own." What a bitch!

Now... Reasons not to hate him:

He's a kid. He's 25 years old. I realize that ignorance is not a defense but he came into the NBA directly out of high school. He's had a city on his shoulders. I mean Cleveland is considered a cursed city when it comes to sports. He never had a chance to live any semblance of a normal life. He now gets to go down to Miami Beach and live it up like the celebrity he is. He no longer has to party at the biker bar in Akron, OH.

He wants to play with his friends. These guys were at the Beijing Olympics together. They are three of the more recognizable names in basketball. They are definitely going to be forced to reckon with. I realize that the collusion aspect makes them all look like smug assholes saying "Fuck you NBA. Try to stop us. I dare you." but can you blame them? Think of your best friend working in the same industry you do. Now imagine you two are the best and you're working for competing companies. Now imagine a something happened where you can work at the same company with him. OH! And throw another good friend in the mix just for fun.

He wants a championship. Sure he'll never be mentioned with the Magic's or the Jordan's or even the Kobe's of NBA history but he wants to experience what it's like to be on top. It probably will happen for him. I realize there's only one ball and it will take some practice to balance these 3 super stars and their different talents. Nothing wrong with wanting to be the best at something. Sure he has to sure it with a bunch of other people but hey... Share a string of championships with 2 other big names or never taste one... See what I'm getting at?

Okay. Sports talk over.

In the office here today -
We had a quiz on the policies and practices we are supposed to be abiding by. Dangerous innit? We can expose how dumb some of these people here are... Also (management I'm looking at you here) we can expose how dumb the people that are supposed to be leading and teaching these people are... Uh-oh.

I realized just how much I hate it when people replace "s" with "z" on the end of words.

That is all.
End communique.


  1. What he (I think i'll call him nine boxes) said!

    Really though, I get the work stuff, but the sport stuff is lost on me. I'm sure is was great though!



  2. Sorry the 'is' (the second 'is') was meant to be an 'it'.