Tuesday, June 29, 2010

That's how you debate!

I blacked out... What happened?
I looked up at the clock and it was 6:15pm.
Unbelievable... Good news: I got a shit ton of work today. I was handling claims like Taz... Grunting and groaning just like that.

I have a lot I want to do tonight and am not sure how it's going to shake down:
1) Watch the White Sox (hopefully) beat the Royals
2) Go running
3) Get another 50 pages (at least) deeper in to "The Tin Drum"
4) See my girlfriend. She's working til close and when I start at 10:30am and work til 7:00pm and she starts at 6:00pm and works til 3:00am I have to sacrifice and go visit her at her workplace that just so happens to serve delicious beer and food... I shouldn't complain though.

We'll see how many of these things get done...
I know #4 will fo sho!

Peace
Jim

Monday, June 28, 2010

I got my mind on my tummy and my tummy on my mind.

Howdy all! Did we all have a great weekend? Awesome.
I myself am at work and just had Burger King. I'm kinda disgusted in myself. I, being a true American and therefore a glutton, decided to order a Whopper Value Meal and of course "Go LARGE!" I have this huge Dr. Pepper and Frypod (the King's a clever guy) at my desk strewn about whilst I sit reclining with pants unbuttoned. Okay not really but I feel like a slob. Burger King however, took the liberty of making me feel uber disgusting.

Why is that?

Oh, only because they are doing a promotion for The Twilight Saga "Eclipse" which is in theaters June 30th according to my cup. You see, I now have this ginormous cup at my desk that has a drawing of the 3 main characters on it. It's got the Wolf dude, the chick and the sparkly vampire on it. Unfortunately, I must admit I know the names of these characters (Jacob, Bella and Edward... Ugh) due to the fact that I watched the first movie, my girlfriend is a fan of the books and you can't go anywhere without these fucking tools' faces pasted all over the place.

To quickly defend my girlfriend she is a fan of the books. Not the movies. I realize that it's the easy thing to do to shit on a movie after having it popularized and reading the book minutes before the movie hits the box office. However, the gf really did read the book first.

Now on to the series itself. It kinda grosses me out that it is really, when you get down to brass tacks, is the wet dream of a 30 something creepy mom. She considers herself a straight laced member of the Church of JC and his Latter-day homeboys... Really!? REALLY!!! Yet you're having a vamp sneak into some little-town cutie's room to ravage her in the middle of the night. Nice.

Whatever. I can't be bothered to even hate on this series anymore. It's to easy. I leave you with a funny little exchange I had via e-mail with a co-worker who is one of my favorite people. She's hilarious.

From: Taone, Jim
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 13:51
To: *****, Ang
Uhhhhhhhh way to be lame Ang...
You didn't even obviously know what you were talking about with "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse."My oversized, dirty American glutton BK cup tells me that it's out June 30th.

From: *****, Ang
Sent: Mon 6/28/2010 2:00 PM
To: Taone, Jim
Heh I swear I saw some crap on the news about people camping out for it and stuff…they can’t be out there already??!!

From: Taone, Jim
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 14:02
To: *****, Ang Possibly... I mean it's just two more days... Do you have tomorrow and the following day off?Cuz I was planning on camping out. If you wanna keep each other company that'd be cool... I plan on dressing up (read: down) like Jacob so I'll be walking around without a shirt on and a wolf tail attached to the back of my ripped up shorts... Whaddya say!?

From: *****, Ang
Sent: Mon 6/28/2010 2:09 PM
To: Taone, Jim
Umm dude, I’m team Edward…


Okay, maybe that wasn't super funny but it had me laughing my ass off (LMAO for you youngsters). See what happens when you work in a dull, dumb office?
Ugh.
Have a great day!
Jim "Team Jacob" Taone

Friday, June 25, 2010

What the hell is a jiggawatt?

Well, I'm a bit embarrassed.
Due to a bit of a clerical error here at the Dusty Floors offices I celebrated a little bit prematurely. What happened, exactly, is that I had a post that I had started but never published. That counted in my lists of posts even though it was only a draft. So.... This here. Right now. This post is the 100th. Wooooohoooooooooo!!!!
Awesome. The plans for a spin off remain intact.

I am currently sitting at my desk and am busy as a beaver per the usual. It's Friday so I'm pretty stoked to get out of here. I'm in a pretty good mood, honestly. My room mate and I put together a patio furniture set last night and then proceeded to drink Corona (again: shitty, I know but my taste buds find it to be a good warm weather beer) on the deck until 2:00am. That usually screams hangover but I felt pretty good this morning.
I am currently listening to the White Sox absolutely smash the Cubs. Which is awesome.
Someone at this office did something that kinda pissed me off though.
Here's what happened.

So I was talking about the Sox and how they are killing the Cubs (they jumped out to a real early lead) and was kinda giving this guy here, who is a known Cubs fan, a bit of a hard time about the failure to excel at the game they get paid millions upon millions of dollars to play. He then tells me "I'm converted" and starts to explain to me how the Cubs suck and he is hoping that the Sox win...
Wait. Let's back it up here.
I clearly remember this clown giving me shit last year when the Cubs were beating the Sox. I mean, we've had e-mail chains that lasted days/weeks about the crosstown rivalry. Now, though that the Cubs are bad and the Sox are riding a 9 game winning streak you give me this "Go Sox" thing and tell me your team, that you previously defended and bragged about to no end, sucks so you don't care anymore?

That's bullshit.
I understand if someone is going to turn their back on something that they previously defended or was a fan of for reason of change.
Example - I am now giving up on the Cubs until they put a good product out on the baseball diamond or I am turning my back on 7-11 hot dogs until they don't make me shit liquid down the side of my leg or I am no longer going down on Susie until she smells like something other than the fish monger after an 8 hour day.
This guy, however, is not doing that. He is not that clever. Plus he told me about last nights game so I know he's still tuning in.

Also, it's never cool to be a fair weather fan and or bandwagon jumper in any situation.
It's a cheap cop out that make you look like a sniveling little dickhead. It's a quick escape for someone who can't stand up for themselves.
If you like something that sucks and someone gives you shit about it stand up for yourself. Tell them to get fucked.
If I was this guy I would stand up against me. I'd tell me "You know what, you're right, they do suck. I just remember the first game my pop ever took me to. I had some peanuts, a hot dog and an Old Style or two. Shit like that sticks with you when and yeah they suck. Yeah you're team's beating my team right now. Guess what you can go fuck yourself until you're the one swinging the bat or throwing the cutter that strikes someone out."
I realize that argument is lame and would make anyone sound like a bigger pussy than they would come across for abandoning ship but it's just an example of the principle.

A lot of people have their opinions of sports, politics, religion and pubic hairstyle formed by friends/family/Georgina the hobo that panhandles at the Addison exit of the Kennedy at a young age. For some silly reason, especially when talking about sports, it means something pretty important to us. So don't be a little bitch and sell all that out so easily.
Have a little pride, some conviction and goddamnit stand up for yourself!

Whatever.
It's Friday I gotta finish my shit here to get home and have some deck beers.
I'm going to tease my room mate about this Cubs game and guess what... I guarantee he'll take it down like a champ because he's not a pussy.
Peace out bitches.
Go Sox and more so GO WEEKEND!!!
Love all y'all.
J

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Well well well

Happy anniversary non-existing readers of this blog that fails to entertain, even me the author, at times. 100th post. It's exciting. I had a lot planned in way of guest bloggers, contests, gifts bags for any/all commenters but all that fell through.
It really kind of crept up on me, this 100th post. I guess time passes pretty quickly when you're stuck in a cubicle just generally loathing your existence but not doing a damn thing to change it. Yaaaaaay!

I do have something in the works on this 100th anniversary that I am not going to let out of the bag just yet. I'll give you a hint, it's a spin-off of sorts. That doesn't give it away, does it? Good. Get psyched.

I really don't have much to type here today. I think I'm taking a reflective type attitude here. Just kinda kick back and enjoy this 100th post.

Back to work.
I can't believe I'm still here.
Oh, but I'm writing. Don't forget that!
Jim

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It's Jameson it means that I'm still alive...

I'm hung over today, blog.
Not the usual alcohol/liquor induced hangover as the title would suggest. Nope that's just a line from a great song. I'm hung over from some of the finest meats served by gauchos at a place that has a wine aerialist that gets you wine from their cellar. I'm talking about the one and only Texas de Brazil. I'm experiencing a meat hangover (heyooooooooo!). Honestly it was amazing and totally worth every cent I spent. It was a bit pricey.
Here's some of what I ingested (all meat medium rare):
Fillet Mignon
Fillet wrapped in Bacon
Garlic Fillet
Flank Steak
Chicken breast wrapped in bacon
Parmesan chicken
Beef short rib
Lambchop
Lobster bisque
Fresh tomato with fresh mozzarella and smoked provolone
Seared tuna
Cajun shrimp

It is currently raining outside which is a problem for me... You see I would LOVE to go for a run today and start to try counteracting meatageddon but I ain't running in no downpour.

Before going into an absolute meat coma last night I decided to open up the composition book and scribble down some words. Got a couple pages and what I think would constitute a chapter... What the fuck do I know though, right?
Are dream sequences cool? Is it a good way to start a story?
I do not know the answer to either of those questions but nonetheless have started my story thinking the answer is yes. I am hoping I will still answer these questions with a yes when I'm deeper into this thing a bit...
I've been reading a lot of short fiction lately (thanks to the New Yorker's 20 Under 40 stories) and am wondering if I should write short stories (I've heard it called flash fiction... Oooooooh Cool!) and have also been reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass (which clocks in at 550+ pages) thinking I probably could not complete a novel.
Is it too early to ask these questions? I'm sure it is.
Is it way to early to be checking out LitPark and Word Hustler on thenervousbreakdown.com? Of course! I mean these blogs are for writers who have written something of substance and have a manuscript they're looking to shop around. They talk about agents and publishers. Heh. Wanna pump the brakes a bit Jim?

Really, I walk the halls of my workplace every day and loathe it whole-heartedly. So the writing gets me uber stoked right now. Even if it goes absolutely nowhere at this time it's working to soothe the urges to burn down an insurance office in the suburbs of Chicago.
This is good. This is progress.

I gotta pretend to work for the final hour of my day.
Be kind out there but not too kind.
Jim

Monday, June 21, 2010

You've been struck by a smooth criminal.

Another Monday.
Work is craaaaaazy. The phone's are blowing up and it seems the cool thing to do is just let them ring off the hook. The good thing about all of this is it's making my day really fly by.

I watched Michael Jackson's "This Is It" last night. Amazing. I honestly wish I could dance like Michael Jackson. All of it. Short black pants, white socks, black loafers, glove and monkey. Okay, Bubbles never really played a part in the dancing but I bet it's bad ass to own a monkey.
Other than "This Is It" the weekend was pretty phenomenal. Had a bit of a beach day on Saturday. The room mate and I had a cooler that was filled with a full case of Corona (I realize it's shit beer but I don't care. We were sitting on the beach in the sun and them fuckers was ice cold. Delicious!) and a twelve pack of Bud Light.

Yesterday was Father's Day. It was pretty chill. I just went over to the parent's place and provided my greeting card and fifty Best Buy dollars to dad as a bit of thanks for putting up with one hell of an asshole for 24 years. He seemed psyched. He, as dad's are prone to do, could not accept his gift without giving something back. He extended a bit of fashion advice (he thought my shorts looked like "old man shorts") and a book shelf that is going to be put to great use in my apartment.

Main reason I bring up Father's Day is because of the writing I'm doing. I've started a story. I haven't really got too deep into it just yet. I have decided though that it is going to explore the relationship between a father and his son. I don't really know anything concrete at all at this point, just general ideas. I don't know if this subject matter kinda crept into my head subliminally with all the Father's Day sales in the stores/commercials/ads/etc.
I think it's going to be a coming of age type story that has a father/son relationship at the heart of it. I've literally wrote one paragraph and have maybe a chapter kind of outlined in my head. We'll see how it goes.
Hot garbage? Maybe.
Do you have a story that you're currently writing? Then go fuck yourself.

In the ongoing plug of my girlfriends workplace I am pleased to announce that Revolution Brewing (who's site for some reason is now blocked by the internet police at my work) is now serving brunch on the weekend. For anyone who has drank a bit too much on Friday and/or Saturday you should sneak in there for a delicious bloody mary and something to soak up that hangover. Still drunk from the night before? Catch a cab! Please don't get a DUI. Ladies performing their Saturday morning walk of shame - head in to Rev.
There was a soft open about 3 weeks ago and I sampled the Biscuits with gravy and prosciutto. Amazing!

I'm probably going to go there tonight for a beer or two.
Go there. Tip the bartender with the nose ring well.
Slainte!
Jim

P.S. I've learned over the weekend that I am 15 puzzle master.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Wishing for windows to throw you from

I'm at work and it's raining like crazy.
I find it highly irritating the amount of panic and general rowdiness this creates.
Whether it's the dude that is walking from his desk proclaiming that he does not want to be sitting by the windows or the woman who's in a shit mood now because she left her east facing bedroom window opened. Every thunder clap is like a rallying cry for douchebagerry. Unreal. I mean it's not like it's THAT serious!

In other news it's Friday and I couldn't be more excited.
Rain or shine I don't have to be back in this place until Monday. I'm really tiring of it, honestly. It pays the bills though. I think I'm going to be piecing my resume together soon.

Since I've posted a real entry here a lot has gone down. Let's see...

I've used my passport for the first time.
That was awesome. Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic with the girlfriend. It was amazing. We left at 5:00am from O'Hare which means we had to be at the airport no later than 4:00am. With my girlfriend working at a bar until midnight that night and then packing this means that we did not sleep prior to our first day on vacation. We were somewhere above FL when we had both been awake for 24 hours.
It was a good vacation though. It was a real vacation. No excursions. We stayed on the resort and generally just ate and drank and slept. Tanned up a bit. I'm still peeling from every delicious ray of sun.

My computer has bit it.
Fucked. I was downloading some music (to be specific it was Ben Nichols' "Last Pale Light in the West" [which is a concept album based on Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian or the Evening Redness in the West"]) and playing an emulated version of Final Fantasy I for GameBoy Advance when the computer froze up. I turned it off manually and turned it back on to the normal VAIO start up screen. Shortly there after it made a pretty odd nose and then I got a screen that says "No operating system found." I've seen nothing but this screen since. I am to assume it's the hard drive.
Pissed.

I've read.
Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian or the Evening Redness in the West" was pretty good. Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" was pretty amazing but didn't really stand up to all his other work I'm familiar with. The New Yorker's "20 Under 40" issue has some pretty great writers all under 40 years of age. I'm currently reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass as I mentioned briefly last night. It's amazing. This Oskar Matzerath guy is pretty crazy. Heh.

I got another ticket.
I did not realize that the red light cameras take pictures of you when you turn on red during the hours when it is not permitted. Sneaky bastards...

I've had an anniversary.
My girlfriend and I realized at dinner last night that our one year anniversary passed while we were looking the other way. At least it was both of us so no one got pissed or started an argument. Some suggest this shows that we are perfect for each other. Who knows...

I've made more vacation plans.
September 21-24. Las Vegas, NV. "The Ghost" is having a bachelor party that lasts four days and consists of us getting hammered and gambling in Vegas. Solid.

I think that's all of note. I mean more has happened but not really worth typing out here. Not that any of that shit above me is.

I've started writing also. I think I might start documenting my progress with that. It might be fun for all my fans to have a look at when my writing started after I have published my first novel and it beats whatever John Grisham book is released at that time for the #1 spot on the NY Times Bestseller list. It'll be fun.

Peace out, y'all.
Jim

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Unbelievable...

I'm blogging from my girlfriend's phone. It's unreal
So annoying.
My computer is fried... I think it's the hardrive.

I'm currently swamped at work and reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass.
The girl and I are going to watch a movie and hit it. I gotta start doing this shit from work again!