Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I was your silver lining but now I'm gold.

Ugh. I'm a total fucking wreck today, blog. I mean it. See that girlfriend of mine works as a bartender at Revolution Brewing. This is awesome for her as the place is, most nights, on and popping. Do the kids still say that these days? So I've been getting off work and hanging with the room mate until he goes to bed at a reasonable hour. Then I sit and play some video games to entertain me (currently mixing it up between Final Fantasy VI, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy X and NHL 10) until the girlfriend calls me to let me know she's off. Pick her up, come home. Talk, make out, maybe a lil sexy time and then I crash usually getting about 3-5 hours of sleep.
Well last night you could throw in a good amount of beers, a Tempeh Reuben, smoking, no sexy time, the drummer from Model Stranger to make sure that my night was awesome and my morning was the absolute opposite.

Okay, so my room mate's cousin is the drummer for Model Stranger and they're lovely guys that make lovely music so check them out.
He was apparently visiting my room mate last night when I arrived with the girlfriend and saw him getting in his car. He decided to come back in and have a beer with myself and the girl. Awesome.
I'm a hot mess but just got some coffee. So it's looking up.

You would think that I'd be in the shittiest mood as I usually am when I have anything that is even dressed up like a hangover. I'm not though. I think it's the fact that I'm so fucking miserable today that I'm able to find the silver lining and realize it's not that bad. Maybe I'm just overdosing on this at work.

List time.
Silver linings:

I'm fucking tired. I don't believe that I will ever catch up on the sleep I've missed since I met my girlfriend some 7 or so months ago. I just don't see it happening. I am to blame for this and I'm not trying to pin this all on her. I offer the rides. She's taken cabs/public transportation before and does not expect the ride in any way but I am, at the end of the day, absolutely exhausted.
Silver Lining: I have this amazing girl to pick up from work and hang out with all night until I'm to the point that I can't keep my eyes open. Every morning I'm a wreck and feel like I should sleep more but I don't regret it. Honestly, I absolutely adore my girlfriend and kind of down play in this space because a) it's sappy and if you're not my girlfriend or me it is just a bunch of bullshit that is boring to read and makes me sound like a sniveling dildo and b) she may get sick of me one day and ditch my ass leaving me a sobbing, sniveling, heart broken dildo who has put these words to this page and must now scramble to erase entire posts that even mention her. End of the day she is amazing and I'm just psyched to spend time with her even if it is aging me at a pace that is more rapid than when Warner Bros and Elijah Wood thawed out Mel Gibson. Also, there's the feeling that I'm truly living life. I mean I'm cramming as many hours in to the day as I possibly can. So there's that.

I have no money. I always find myself semi-broke. Not scraping by but I'm certainly not making it rain at Heavenly Bodies or anything like that, either.
Silver lining: I know the value of a buck. I know that's a tired, worn, cliche phrase that parents tell kids when they whine about not being able to get a candy bar/Power Ranger action figure/pony/puppy/dinner but it rings true when you have to start caring for yourself. I find myself eating delicious sushi buffets, going to the Dominican Republic with my girlfriend, eating a whole South American rotisserie chicken with my room mate because these are things that are important to me. I'm not looking to rush out and by Final Fantasy XIII on PS3 because (while I want it like a fat kid wants cake [that reference is still fresh, right?]) because I've got some amazing things to do with amazing people and I'll save up for that. Well, that and parking tickets.

I am swamped at work.
Silver lining: Overtime, bitches. Dolla dolla bills, y'all.

I have a blog that no one reads. Ever.
Silver lining: It does it's job. I write this for myself and to kind of take stock in thing, self reflect and straighten out what my self medication of beer/food doesn't take care of. It works. Even if no one reads it. Still gotta figure out how to use it as my golden ticket.

This could be getting a bit too sappy. I don't know what my deal is today. Although I think this blog is just doing it's job as explained above.
AWESOME.

Go out there and get happy!
Jim

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