Tuesday, February 2, 2010

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Well, well. Do we all know what the above is? Yes. Awesome! Oh you? You don't know? Hmmmm. That's odd. Well you must have a life and enjoy things like going outside/having sex/not living in your parents basement.
The season premiere of LOST is upon us. I'm so jacked for it. Huge nerd, I know. It's amazing that I'm not a virgin living in my parents basement what with all the video games I play and addiction to one of the most ludicrous TV shows ever. Fuck.
Anyway I'm psyched as hell but here's the thing: my girlfriend works tonight. I caught her up with LOST (via the DVDs of every season that I own. Again, say it with me, you little dickhole) and now I'm not going to experience the season premiere of the final season with her when it airs live? Well simply... No. I don't think I'm powerful enough to not watch it when I know it's recording. I'll watch it with her again because I'm sure there's something I will have missed. Oh well.
I skipped this thing yesterday. I've been busy at work and I've realized actually working makes the day go by pretty quickly. I was also kind of hungover. Beer shits bum me out, man. Whatever. Listen, I don't have to explain myself to you, blog! Okay.

Sorry about that.
This is a real cluster fuck today because my brain is really cluster fuckerish.
I mean it was blown on several occasions. One of them I will tell you about right now. There is a sitcom that is already being heralded as a hit that is going to be airing this season on ABC. This show will feature.... Wait for it........... Joey Lawrence and Melissa Joan Hart. Fuck me running. Are you serious? Are you fucking serious!? I mean Clarissa probably got my dick hard back when she was on Nickelodeon and I was a horny little bastard humping my couch. Joey Lawrence probably did the same for ladies my age just that they were grinding their pillow/teddy bear/wonder woman doll. How the fuck is this happening? In the time before I get to next see Conan O'Brien on TV I have to watch a insufferable dickhole and some midget teenage (not) witch last 4 episodes before being cancelled? Wait. I'm not supposed to be an elitist right? Dammit. Can't I just go back and delete the entry in which I claimed I wouldn't be any more? No? That would be fundamentally wrong, you say? Alright blog. You're a real fucking stickler. I'll give this shit show a chance, I guess.

I think I'm going to also start chronicling what, I'm sure, will turn in to quite the situation.
See, (I may have mentioned this in this space but can't be bothered to check) the people that live below us in my apartment building are kind of insane. There's a man and a woman and a child. I don't know if it's the same woman every time but man there is a huge amount of screaming going on down there. Not not the good kind like "you're ravaging my g spot hunny, don't stop, you really know how to navigate that dildo through my anal cavity," no. I wish.
Here's a brief quote list from the man downstairs off the top of my head.
"Who's gonna do it like I do it? Nobody!"
"Call him over. I'll fuck a nigga up."
"Get the fuck away from me. FUCK YOU!"
"Leave me the fuck alone. Stay out of my life."

He's also sobbing all rowdy like a real dildo. Sometimes he seems to be screaming in to a phone sometimes there is a woman screaming back. Always it is no earlier that 1:00am. Sometimes as late (early) as 4:30am. Last night things took a turn down negative street and I am pretty sure that there was some getting physical going on. Fuck. That sucks. There's also a kid involved who was once heard singing "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5 whilst the fuck faces yell at the top of their lungs at each other.
Here's the thing. We rent in this building. There's one other rental property. All the other units belong to a condo association. We never hear the person across the hall from us so we have to assume that the people living across this guy do not hear this. My room mate and I are not how to handle this so we texted our landlord who does own the unit and he suggests we just call the cops next time and he will let the owner know. Apparently Happy Face (Ha. See what I did there? That's how I will refer to the angry man downstairs from now on.) rents from someone that owns the place. Ugh. It's a real mess.
We'll see. Regardless I'll go down there and fuck HIM up if he starts shouting over the LOST premiere.

Don't ever tell me what I can't do
Jim

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