Friday, February 26, 2010

Ooooooooooooh Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa, BROTHA!

Holy shit. I can't believe it. That douchebag (Kristen Stewart) and bitch (Robert Pattison) from Twilight are dating. Unbelievable. Why the fuck would anyone possibly care? I mean, I'm banging her so I have no interest in this fact. You shouldn't either, blog. I don't care how many times you've seen "Twilight" and "New Moon" or how much memorabilia you have from the series. You should not care! Kapish? Okay.
It's Friday. You know what that means... Right? Oh fuck me, blog! Do you not pay attention to any of these words I type in this fucken space? The Ricky Gervais Show. HBO. Tonight. 8:00pm CST. Watch!

Work is killing me. My buddy (read: work buddy. I've seen him outside of work like two times for drinks) got canned today. He was a real work horse so now an extra 130 claims have been divided between myself and the four other people on my team. Ugh. Silver lining here is that this opens up the door for overtime. I'm coming in here tomorrow for some over time. Hell yeah. Also next week I should be racking up about 5 hours of over time. Not a huge amount but it helps out. Especially since I have a vacation coming up. June 3-7. Dominican Republic with the girl. I have to get a passport and all that fun stuff that is associated with international travel...

What else? Hmmmm. I'm pretty psyched for the weekend, blog. It's looking like I'm going to be hanging out with the room mate and a dear old friend tomorrow afternoon. Kuma's Corner for myself, the room mate and the dear old friend Endo. Yes, his name is Endo. Guess why... What? Well, yeah that but also it works in a way with his last name. This kid is fucking nuts. I asked him one time what kind of dog he has and he replied "Part terrier and part clown shoes" he says the most ridiculously hilarious things and is a walking party.
I can do my best to remember the top notch lines that I'm sure are gonna be pouring out of this clown tomorrow but where there is Endo there is blacked out Jim. Every time we hang out together. So don't count on it.
So it's up at 8am to shower and get in to work at 9am. Work til noon. Rush home. Meet the room mate and head out to meet Endo. From then on who knows. I might wake up in Altoona, IA in the middle of a corn field wearing a mesh trucker hat, foam finger and a Hulkamania T-shirt.
We'll see.
You enjoy your weekend and be safe out there.
Don't drink the water.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Tweet, tweet.

Hey there blog! How's it going?
Me? Oh man! I'm stressed. I'm broke-ish. I mean bills will be paid but I'm scraping by. I have a vacation to plan for with the girl. End of June we're going to be hitting the Dominican Republic. That means I have to get a passport. This will be going down probably around the time that best man duties start to heat up a bit. Fuck I'm stressed. I'm gonna rage! Like seriously! Like a killer whale at Sea World.... Shit. Too early?

I know. I know. That's not funny. I get it. Honestly though, why are people surprised? I don't understand. I do not get it at all. I mean this is a "killer whale" right? It's a wild animal. It has a violent history... Well, I'm not shocked. You cage up this thing that has no fucking idea what's going on, regardless of how well it's trained. It's used to roaming an ocean. Now it's in a kiddie pool. I'd be a little pissed, to say the least. I mean look at how crazy I go daily just being stuck in a cubicle.
Hmmmm. What else?
I'm going home to watch Hell's Kitchen with the girlfriend, play some NHL 10 for PS3 with the room mate and then head over, with the girlfriend, to visit my sister. I think I am pretty good at doling out a bit of Jim time for everyone...
This is lame today, sorry blog. I've been so busy at work my brain is fried.

In other news Conan O'Brien has a twitter account. Hilarity ensues.
Peace out dawgs and bitches.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Work day over.
Head = pounding.
No blog today.
Home. Rest.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Physical fitness Test?

Fed up again today, blog.
I just can't take it. This fucking job sucks. I work my ass off (compared to the other people here [I really do nothing if you'd like to compare me to an iron worker/waitress/busboy/anyone that doesn't sit for 8 hours a day]) and get paid less than what I deserve. I realize that I have a job and that is more than a lot of people can say in this economy but fuck me if I don't hate it. I do realize that only I can change this situation and that I look like a real sniveling dildo by complaining yet still working here. Probably still going to do it though. Fuck me. ran the "how to be happy at work" article again. I could fucking kill someone.
My room mate really wants to get police or fire fighter jobs. They pay well. I don't really know if I have what it takes to be a cop but who knows. I also think that my room mate is picturing it, at this time, as us being partners or something. Heh. You have to pass a physical for these jobs though so... You guessed it. I gotta start running. We'll see when that actually happens.

I'm pretty beat today. I've been really tired lately. These days just kind of blend together, really. My girlfriend got that new job that I can't stop plugging and talking about. Honestly though, it's taking it's toll on me as well. See, I do not really feel awesome about having her wander around Logan Square with upwards of $500 cash on her. So I pick her up when she's done with work. This is typically about 2:00am on average. I am usually pretty tired at that point. I've been like a zombie lately with no realization of what day of the week it is. Musn't complain though. Right? Honestly I adore the girl and I'm much happier being tired, walking around like a zombie with her than sitting around covered in Frito crumbs, having a wank, while I play video games and have a normal amount of sleep in a night.

Other news - Ric Flair got attacked by his wife on Sunday and she was arrested for it. That sucks! Do you think his wife found Tiger Woods cell number in his phone?

My manager just walked by and set quite the lofty goal for me to complete by the end of the day. I'm in between getting it done (which will not get me anything other than a "well done") and kind of half assing it so that I do not raise my bar any higher here.
Fuck me. What a bad attitude to have, eh?
Fuck it.
Love ya!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Are you having a laugh?

A manager was sitting in the cubicle next to mine today.
Holey hell did I work hard!
I'm tired.
Had a pretty great weekend, though.
My girl is now training behind the bar at Revolution Brewing which is new and exciting for her. I'm excited too because there is that added bonus of beer. I ate at Rev again over the weekend. This time it was the working man burger which had apple wood smoked bacon, beer onions and a honey-jalapeno slaw on it. Phenomenal. The room mate had a chicken sandwich that he thought was good but left him wanting more. I mean literally. He was still hungry. If you knew him you would realize that is not necessarily a dig on the sandwich. We split a bacon fat popcorn app too. The sides? Well, we both went with the garlic/cream cheese mashed potatoes.
Hmmmm. What else?
My girlfriend gave me a new book to read. "World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War" by Max Brooks. I'm only like 2 chapters in but I'm digging it already. It is written from the perspective of a writer that is assembling a UN Post War Commission Report. It's a semi-original way to write a zombie book, right?
I don't expect it to be Murakami or anything but I like it thus far.

I have to get outta here. Work kicked my ass today. I'm heading by my parents house to have some dinner. Drama (my brother) will be there with his girl (who I believe I've dubbed "Rose" here) but they are not bringing their dogs. Bummer.
I will then head home to do some laundry and play video games whilst I wait for my girlfriend to get done with her shift. I can't really let her wander around Logan Square with all that cash on her at 3:30am, can I? Nope.

Oh, I also hope you all watched "The Ricky Gervais Show" because I thought it was amazing. Really, really great. There are some other people who agree with me too.

Have a good night.
Maybe a proper blog post tomorrow... List and all... We'll see.

Friday, February 19, 2010

What. The. Fuck.

It's friiiiiiiday.
I'm scared, blog. The fucking world is going to hell in quite the lovely little hand basket.
Take a look around. Some maniac set his house on fire and then crashed an airplane in to the side of a building. Gary Coleman is a woman beater. So is Warren Sapp. Disturbing shit, innit?
Here's the kicker though. I saw a sure sign of the absolute deterioration of our people and society on my way to work this morning. There is no hope for us whatsoever.

I saw a bike parked outside of a coffee shop. Normal enough... Upon taking a closer look there is a headpiece on it. To be more specific there were fake dreadlocks resting on the handle bars.

So many things wrong with this.
First off. Helmet, my friend. You are supposed to be wearing a helmet. See the skull protects the brain. To keep everything hunky dorey in there you want to have a solid outer shell covering the skull. A piece of mesh with dangling fake dreadlocks is not going to protect the skull. Not even a little bit.
Secondly, who the fuck would want fake dreadlocks? Okay blog, I don't know if I've vocalized my hatred for hippies in this space. Suffice it to say they make my fucking skin crawl. You are disgusting/hairy/smelly and are a frat boy with bad hygiene and a "it's all cool, brah" outlook on life. That is it. Seriously the hippy and frat boy are doing the same things with a different delivery. They are both elitist and will look down their nose at anyone that does not conform with their distinct outlook on life. I can't fucking stand it. So the thought that someone would want to "fake the funk" of a hippy makes me vomit in my mouth.
Thirdly, you're aping a ridiculous culture that was built around drugs and laziness and are so lazy that you can not even be bothered to commit to it enough to grow your own fucking dreadlocks.

Jesus Christ.

I also saw a crossing guard in a school zone standing inside a cleaners waiting for people to walk near the intersection and then coming out to assist them with crossing. Unbelievable.

Ugh. Whatever. It's Friday.
I got paid.... Not enough.
I'm going home to cook some Chicken Cordon Bleu and fried rice. I will then be drinking until this work week just kind of washes away. Call me a frat boy.

Also, I received my Chicago magazine yesterday.
It was the 100 Best Bars issue...
You know where this is going?
Yep. You got it. Revolution Brewing was featured. They've been opened 3 months. Get over there, already.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Pop quiz, hot shot.

Velveeta Shells & Cheese
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

Who wins it?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The sushi diary

Hello there, blog. I haven't really been updating this all too consistently lately, have I? I know, you're right. Apologies... Honestly, I'm sorry. Okay.
I had a pretty good night last night. The girl and I went to this place Kanok. It's a wonderful little sushi place. They have this deal (excluding weekend nights) for $22+tax that is all you can eat sushi. Wow... I ravaged that place. The girlfriend helped me a bit but I really did most of the work... I'll outline it, how does that sound?

Here's what we ate:
Cucumber salad
Miso Soup
Vegetable Tempura

Nigiri Sushi:
Maguro (Tuna)
Tamago (Cooked Egg)
Masago (Smelt roe)
Ika (squid)
Ebi (Cooked Shrimp)

Maki Rolls:
Tuna & avocado roll
Spicy Tuna roll
Spicy California roll
Shrimp Tempura roll
Fired Dragon roll which is spicy tuna topped with avocado, unagi and unagi sauce

All for $44+tax.
Oh... And the place is BYOB. Count it!

That's the type of dinner that will usually leave me stuffed to the gills waking up with a pain in my stomach and a general feeling of doom and anxiety. Not today though. Oh, I do have a general anxiety about this day but that's because I left my phone at the girlfriend's place this morning.

I don't really see myself as one of those people with a nose buried in the screen of their phone texting/surfing the net at break neck speeds. My girl claims that I'm attached to the phone but she just says that because I'm always NEAR my phone. Makes sense to be, right? Whatever... It's really kind of amazing how out of touch one feels when you do not have your cell phone on you. I, at times, feel like it might be nice to separate myself from a cell phone but whenever I think that again just remind me of today, okay blog? Cool...

Let's see... What other commentaries do I have about the society of today's dependency on technology... Hmmm. Oh! I tried to get change for a $20 today at work. Do you know how hard that is today? Do you know how many people laughed at me and showed me their empty wallets? Do you know how many people showed me their single dollar bill they have that they folded in to a paper airplane? Okay, just the one paper airplane but honestly I asked about 24 people for change and not one could produce it.

Okay enough of that.
Quick update on certain things here for ya blog. Just an update to keep everything organized and clean.
Being a best mans is, for now, very boring and uneventful. I realize this will change as we get closer to the date but for now there is nothing to document here.
The crazy couple downstairs don't really fight that much anymore. My room mate heard the woman screaming all loud and the dude was telling her, very calmly, to quiet down. Heh.
I'm still fat (see above list of food ingested last night) and have not started running yet.

That should be it.
I'm going to Revolution Brewing tonight. Should be good times. Wanna meet up for a drink? Awesome just give me a call... AWWW FUCK!

Monday, February 15, 2010

I don't want anybody else

Wow. Blog.
I had quite the day today. See, I called in on Friday since I was "sick."
So lots of work had to be done to catch up today.

I did get over to Revolution Brewing to visit that lovely little lady that I call many things but most importantly my girlfriend. I know I've really been selling this joint in this space but honestly I like it more and more every time I visit. The place is really nice. I know a lot of the people there so that it makes it a bit more fun I suppose... I ate the Smokehouse Burger when I visited last which comes with Pepper Jack cheese and Caroline style pulled pork. Wow! That thing was great. I got fries as a side and regretted that because my room mate got the garlic cream cheese mashed potatoes and they were uhmazing!!!

Let's see... What else? Not much really. Had a great time on Thursday which is why I might have been a bit "sick." Hung out with the girlfriend and some of her friends she has not seen in a while. Got a bit drunk and found myself in quite the lovely dive bar singing karaoke to "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. Wow...

Well, work day is almost over as I had so much to catch up on. Maybe we'll get a proper post tomorrow, blog.

Be safe out there.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Let it snow

Woah. 2 days off. Crazy right?
As I mentioned here I had to be on my best behavior on Monday as there was a client in the office. That went alright. They did hover over my desk and ask me some questions. Thing is I was, as per usual, working on some other persons claim. So they wanted me to walk them through the process on this file that is all types of fucked up. It's not my file so I don't know how we've arrived at the point we are at now. Whatever, I think I did a pretty good "Hey, what's that over there?!" type distraction on them. Just ran a little interference. End of the day. Not my file, I'm not in trouble.

Yesterday was a bit of a treat... So lame that things like this constitute a "treat," oh well. I got off work early!!! Hell yeah. So I didn't blog here. See one of the companies that I handle claims for is located in Pennsylvania. They're getting really fisted by mother nature over there and are having record breaking snow fall. So day off for them. Since I didn't have new work coming in I just kind of tidied up what I have pending and split right the fuck out of here. Did I enjoy my day off? Fuck yeah. Had a wank. Played some videogames. Had some Burger King (2 double cheesies, 2 tacos) and just lounged, really. Fuck me. Still haven't done that running I spoke of. Fat bastard.

Today is a bit of the same thing. I don't think I'm going to be let out early but the main account I work for is closed. Must be nice... I'm already probably half done with my work and it's about 12:30pm now. I will be cruising the internets all day taking my time in helping others out with their work after I finish mine.

What else to update. Olive Garden was delicious. Crazy Heart was a solid movie. Lovely story about a country singer/songwriter out on the road all washed up, road wary, drunken and sloppy. Really fun.

Ugh.... Not much more to update. Another week another episode of LOST.
Oh!! Apparently John Mayer is under some fire, eh? I mean he detailed all his previous relationships in depth for Playboy magazine, dropped an "n bomb" in the same interview, apologized via Twitter and got all teary-eyed on stage in Nashville, TN stating he just "wants to play guitar." What a tool, no? I mean in this day and age we've got our need for the latest news all the time. Why the fuck should I or do I care about where the Gossip Girls ate dinner last night or who Snookie made out with at what club at 4am last weekend.... Okay the latter may kind of interest me. Listen at the end of the day to be a successful celebrity today you almost have to throw your whole life out there. I mean if you bore people they will not tune in to watch you get knocked out on the boardwalk or grind someone in the hot tub, right? I mean my knowing that John Mayer couldn't consummate his relationship with Jennifer Love Hewitt lends a whole new interpretation to "Your Body is a Wonderland."
As far as dropping the "n word" that is just plain stupid. John, you know that word is so racially charged and has such emotion attached to it that nothing good was going to happen. He was attempting to use it to show how dumb racism is, if I understand his apology. Come on, John. You're a rich white guy that dates the hottest women in Hollywood and get (probably undeserved [opinion]) recognition for writing/performing music. If someone of Caucasian descent is going to pioneer and/or champion a movement to erase racism and/or promote a world where anyone can use the "n word" without causing harm that guy ain't gonna be you, dawg. Seriously.
At the end of the day I guess I'm just trying to figure out if these celebutards are just the most arrogant, self-important, self-absorbed, self-aggrandizing dickholes/baginas or if they are just doing what their field dictates they must to be successful. Ugh. The age old debate. I complain about these things but notice I'm pretty in touch with it all, eh? I blame this on my mind numbing job. Surfing the internets all day really pulls me in to the disgusting, apathetic world of celebrity news/gossip. Fuck me.

Well, I've got to go. I spoke with the girlfriend and we're going grocery shopping after work. I have to pick out something to make for dinner so I'll be searching recipes with the rest of my day... Fun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll provide a position by position breakdown of my sex life.
John Mayer ain't got shit on me when I unveil my unparalleled masturbation techniques.
Watch out!
Get the KY ready.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Best man? More like better man!

Hey there blog. Haw was your weekend? Awesome!
I am indeed the best man at my best friend, The Ghost's, wedding. I walked in to his house on Friday and he handed me a card in an envelope. The card notified me that The Ghost and his fiance would be honored if I would be an usher at their wedding.... What? I was a bit taken aback by this but told him I'd love to. The Ghost then paused for a couple minutes and got a little upset. He was holding, behind his back, a card requesting me to be his best man. He was upset that I did not throw a tantrum about having known him all our lives and not being the best man. It was unfortunate that I disappointed him. I brought up the point that if I did throw a tantrum about not being the best man then I am probably not a good best man, amirite?
I am now definitely a bit nervous. I have to get a tux. I have to write a speech. I have to plan a bachelor party. The wedding is October 16th. Fuck me. I do not have as much time as I thought I would. Whatever, enough of that talk for now...

Let's see... What else is there from this weekend. Oh yeah! We went to that Hockey Classic in Madison, WI. It was the Wisconsin Badgers v Michigan Wolverines. Who won? Fair question. I have no idea. See Madison is a college town. There are bars EVERYWHERE. Parking NOWHERE. Oh, and it was freezing fucking cold. The game started at 5 pm which I was not notified of. We went to one of said bars. Got hammered. For inquiring minds it was $2.50 for domestic pitchers and $4 for a bacon cheeseburger with fries.
We made it to the game a bit late and were freezing our asses off and pretty drunk from the 3 hour drinking-as-quick-as-you-can pre-game we had at the bar. The atmosphere was absolute shit. The Ghost and Twin J were cheering on the Badgers and people were staring at us like we were being absolutely ridiculous. The Ghost reminded everyone in our immediate area that they paid to watch their team play a hockey game. Ugh. Whatever. I was just standing there attempting to not think about just how cold and on the verge of frostbite I was.
We decided to leave after the first period and headed back to Brothers. At some point here it was decided that it would be a good idea to go to Ho-Chunk Casino in Wisconsin Dells.
Needless to say I was back at The Ghost's place at about 1:00am. Dead tired and down $30 from the casino trip. I have lost A LOT more at a casino in my time so not too worried about that.

What else... Oh yeah! There was a football game played last night. That was cool. Saints won. I was not thinking that was going to happen. Good for the city though. At the end of the day I'm sure it's just a mere distraction from everything that has happened over there but regardless, good for them. I was watching at a friends place who has a room mate who is a HUGE Saints fan. He literally shed tears when they won. Kind of lame but I'm not gonna begrudge the guy any type of fandom/pride for his team/city. So we'll leave that. I ended up winning about $45 but my room mate was the big winner collecting about $250 total, I believe. So he's buying the next couple of cases of BL for the crib. Speaking of Bud Light they had to have the best commercials last night, right? I'm not really one to go nuts over the commercials but whatever.

In real life news I might get President's Day off. That would be awesome! Hmmmm. What else. The girl and I are having a bit of a date night. Should be fun. Dinner and a movie. The girl loves the OG, man. That's cool though. Could be worse and I could have to buy her ACTUAL Italian cuisine at an authentic Italian cuisine price, amirite?
Okay, I've got to wrap this up. I really worked at a good clip this morning/afternoon and want to close the day on a good note. We have a huge client coming in tomorrow and I think that if I can impress that I will probably be more likely to get Monday off... I'm a cubicle drone, I know. Go ahead, throw your stones. We'll see who's laughing when I'm sitting around on Monday rubbing cocoa butter all over myself whilst I play video games in between masturbation and Chinese food binge sessions. Losers.

I love you.
Have a good night.
Don't be upset if I'm absent tomorrow. Again, big client coming in to test us before they purchase us.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The weak end is here.

Ugh. So fucking busy at work, blog.
So fucking busy so I'm making this quick.
Real quick.

I'm going to an outdoor hockey game this weekend in WI. Freezing balls.
With Twin D, Twin J and The Ghost as explained before.
It will be cold. It will be fun.

I've been to Revolution Brewing twice. It's really a wonderful place. I had the PEI Mussels in hard cider with blue cheese, leek and fuji apple.
It was delicious...

I'm going to get some final work done and hopefully will have something to say here about this weekend on Monday.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Nothing is irreversible

Wow. How about that blog?
You nerds out there catch that 2 hour premiere?
Amazing, no? I mean the bomb detonated and it didn't. Then wait, they're off the island and on a plane and have never even crashed. Oh my heavens.
Listen, those words had a sarcastic tone to them in my head while my fingers were putting them to a keyboard. I can't lie though I was captivated. I mean was all over that shit. I will be glued to the TV for every episode of this season that is for sure. I'm sure I'll buy the DVD when it comes out too. It's just so silly to me. I mean, I make sure to not get too involved. I have not taken notes and listed my theories and such. Won't go that far. No TV show is worth that, amirite?

In real word news my girl worked her first shift at her new place of employment Revolution Brewing and is loving it. I suggest you guys go there and have some local brew and delicious food. I can't really give any recommendations because I myself have yet to get over there for some food/brew but would imagine that will be happening early next week. Go there though and enjoy it. It's going to be a really hip spot. It's opening to the public TODAY and there really is not a spot like it in that neighborhood. Just don't hit on the girl with the nose ring, okay? I'll bust your ass up!
What else? Not much. Fuck man. There is just not much of note and/or excitement going on in my life.
I have an outdoor hockey game that I will be attending on Saturday with my buddies. The Twins and The Ghost. I don't know if I've mentioned The Twins in this space or not. They went to the same high school as me which makes them cool. They are not identical twins. Weird. Fraternal twins creep me out. Don't know why. Actually, it's probably because of these two clowns.
There's the one, Twin D, who is out there to say the least. Honestly, the kid is really jittery. He is always nervous. Having a dialogue with him is like playing a fucking pinball machine with one hand tied around your back while trying to do long division with your half cousin licking your balloon knot. I imagine that the thoughts in his head sound like a fax machine connecting when you are sending a fax out. He's crazy. I was at a bar once and convinced a friend of mine that he is autistic. She started almost crying and told me I should not make fun of him for that. I would never make fun of autistic people, that is rude. He is not autistic. She believed me though. That is all I'm saying. This kid is not normal mentally. I love him for it.
The other is Twin J. This kid is the smartest moron I've ever met in my entire life. First off, he is a cop and the fact that he is allowed to carry a gun and expected to serve and protect frightens me. He is awesome, though. The kid never loses an argument. He has himself convinced that he is the smartest person in any room. That is what makes him a moron. I can admit when I'm wrong. Twin J... Never going to happen. He has these amazing, grandiose ideas and when trying to pitch them to people you kind of feel bad for him because it seems like in his head he is a genius but he just can not communicate it to the rest of the normal, human world. Also, his girlfriend (we'll call her [guess why]) is the person that kind of hooked my girlfriend and me up. So they are all good people.

The Ghost I have talked about before. Childhood friend. Has a hot cousin. All that.
This kid is absolutely mad. We get around each other and we become the most disgusting, ignorant people in the world because when we are hanging out we don't care what anyone thinks of us cause, man, we got each other. We've laughed so hard I've thrown up. We once (can't believe I'm actually typing this out) had a competition to see who could stand the others farts. We would fart on the couch and the other had to smell it face pressed against said couch. We are disgusting. We honestly, however, do not care what anyone thinks (and not like someone says to make the people they are looking for acceptance from think that they don't need their acceptance) so this behavior is totally cool.
I believe that this weekend he is going to tell me that I will be the best man at his wedding. I know I've typed this here before. I have to tell you I couldn't be more worried now that it is starting to sink in. Fuck.

Well, that filled the space quite nicely. It was probably all unintelligent drivel but I'm not so worried.
Have a good night. We'll rap tomorrow blog.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

4 8 15 16 23 42

Well, well. Do we all know what the above is? Yes. Awesome! Oh you? You don't know? Hmmmm. That's odd. Well you must have a life and enjoy things like going outside/having sex/not living in your parents basement.
The season premiere of LOST is upon us. I'm so jacked for it. Huge nerd, I know. It's amazing that I'm not a virgin living in my parents basement what with all the video games I play and addiction to one of the most ludicrous TV shows ever. Fuck.
Anyway I'm psyched as hell but here's the thing: my girlfriend works tonight. I caught her up with LOST (via the DVDs of every season that I own. Again, say it with me, you little dickhole) and now I'm not going to experience the season premiere of the final season with her when it airs live? Well simply... No. I don't think I'm powerful enough to not watch it when I know it's recording. I'll watch it with her again because I'm sure there's something I will have missed. Oh well.
I skipped this thing yesterday. I've been busy at work and I've realized actually working makes the day go by pretty quickly. I was also kind of hungover. Beer shits bum me out, man. Whatever. Listen, I don't have to explain myself to you, blog! Okay.

Sorry about that.
This is a real cluster fuck today because my brain is really cluster fuckerish.
I mean it was blown on several occasions. One of them I will tell you about right now. There is a sitcom that is already being heralded as a hit that is going to be airing this season on ABC. This show will feature.... Wait for it........... Joey Lawrence and Melissa Joan Hart. Fuck me running. Are you serious? Are you fucking serious!? I mean Clarissa probably got my dick hard back when she was on Nickelodeon and I was a horny little bastard humping my couch. Joey Lawrence probably did the same for ladies my age just that they were grinding their pillow/teddy bear/wonder woman doll. How the fuck is this happening? In the time before I get to next see Conan O'Brien on TV I have to watch a insufferable dickhole and some midget teenage (not) witch last 4 episodes before being cancelled? Wait. I'm not supposed to be an elitist right? Dammit. Can't I just go back and delete the entry in which I claimed I wouldn't be any more? No? That would be fundamentally wrong, you say? Alright blog. You're a real fucking stickler. I'll give this shit show a chance, I guess.

I think I'm going to also start chronicling what, I'm sure, will turn in to quite the situation.
See, (I may have mentioned this in this space but can't be bothered to check) the people that live below us in my apartment building are kind of insane. There's a man and a woman and a child. I don't know if it's the same woman every time but man there is a huge amount of screaming going on down there. Not not the good kind like "you're ravaging my g spot hunny, don't stop, you really know how to navigate that dildo through my anal cavity," no. I wish.
Here's a brief quote list from the man downstairs off the top of my head.
"Who's gonna do it like I do it? Nobody!"
"Call him over. I'll fuck a nigga up."
"Get the fuck away from me. FUCK YOU!"
"Leave me the fuck alone. Stay out of my life."

He's also sobbing all rowdy like a real dildo. Sometimes he seems to be screaming in to a phone sometimes there is a woman screaming back. Always it is no earlier that 1:00am. Sometimes as late (early) as 4:30am. Last night things took a turn down negative street and I am pretty sure that there was some getting physical going on. Fuck. That sucks. There's also a kid involved who was once heard singing "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5 whilst the fuck faces yell at the top of their lungs at each other.
Here's the thing. We rent in this building. There's one other rental property. All the other units belong to a condo association. We never hear the person across the hall from us so we have to assume that the people living across this guy do not hear this. My room mate and I are not how to handle this so we texted our landlord who does own the unit and he suggests we just call the cops next time and he will let the owner know. Apparently Happy Face (Ha. See what I did there? That's how I will refer to the angry man downstairs from now on.) rents from someone that owns the place. Ugh. It's a real mess.
We'll see. Regardless I'll go down there and fuck HIM up if he starts shouting over the LOST premiere.

Don't ever tell me what I can't do