Thursday, January 28, 2010

I suck at life.

No running. Nope. Not for me last night.
Instead I was influenced to hang out at my apartment (successfully upsetting my girlfriend who I was supposed to visit and also take grocery shopping and cook dinner with) get drunk and play video games with my room mate.
It was blistering cold outside anyway. Ugh. I suck at life...

Can't really be bothered to provide anything thought provoking or intelligent here today. I, in turn, will formulate a comical and truthful list of pet peeves at work.

Trimming your nails - Come on now. Someone was doing this today and I'm not sure who it was but it was near my desk. If I find out who it was I am going to murder them. Why would you ever do this outside of your house? I'd smack my room mate in the face if he did this outside of his bathroom. Honestly. What are you thinking when you even bring a nail clipper in to your place of business? I mean that is a conscious decision whether brought from home or purchased specifically for the desk drawer.
I guess this might make sense if you get a hangnail or something but honestly that clipping sound makes me want to stab my ear drums and then rip off some ones eyelashes with the god damned clippers.

Unsolicited Advice - Oh, thank you. I will keep in mind that you think I look mildly retarded with my new haircut. I will never get one like this again because we both know it is very important to me what you think. We're fucking co-workers. You are not my girlfriend. You are not even my friend, most likely. I do not care what you think and have no interest in shaping your opinion of me in to a favorable one. The arrogance of people that think they are in a position to give me advice about music/fashion/relationships/television/vibrator model/work in general/the proper way to cup balls when giving a blowjob/etc is astounding. I can't deal with this. Not even a little bit.

Laziness - This one is obvious, right? It's bad though. I seriously can not fathom the fact that some people here make the same amount I do. Not to mention that since I'm not a lazy fucking asshole I usually can be trusted by my superiors. You know what this means? They give me shit that some cunt could not be bothered to do or, even better, is not intelligent enough to complete.

You know what? I can't complete this fucking list.
My blood will begin to boil and I will, most likely, burn the fucker down tomorrow.

Ugh. Good news. One more day until the weekend.
Fart,
Jim

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