Monday, November 8, 2010

Questions from the cubicle... Do you smell that?

What's worse?

a) A co-worker that is on the heavier side that reeks of body odor.

b) A co-worker that is on the heavier side that reeks of cologne that is covering what I can only assume would be body odor.

I think b) is worse but maybe because I'm experiencing that every day right now...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Notes from Outside the Cubicle...

2 Amigos is delicious.
Not so much when you reheat.

Returning to work tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Notes from the Cubicle: Overtime

Ring back tones are terrible.
Absolutely horrible. It's always the last song you would want to hear while waiting to talk to someone that you don't really want to talk to who, in turn, doesn't really want to re-live their car accident over the phone with you.
The only thing worse is............

People who have their small child record their voicemail greeting.
Your little kid is screaming something inaudible into the phone and now I'm not leaving a message. You are the only one that thinks your kid is cute. Yep. It's true. Your husband? Nope. Just you.
I highly doubt you are calling yourself and leaving messages very often so just stop it.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Notes from the Cubicle: The Post Game Show

When you begin your day by spilling coffee all over yourself as you walk in to work the day will be terrible.

Trust me.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Notes from the Cubicle Volume 2: Rebellion vs. The Alarm Clock

I actually work at work these days. It's unreal. and not very fun.

There's board members here for a visit today. They're in from the UK and everyone is making a big deal about it.
I've been here for going on 3 years and I have never met a board member.
I don't even know what they do, who they are, what they look like, why I have to clean my desk to impress them and more importantly why I do not get to wear jeans to work today like I usually do.

I'm going to quote Aesop Rock here:
We the American working population hate the fact that 8 hours a day is wasted on chasing a dream of someone that isn't us and we may not hate our jobs but we hate jobs in general that don't have to do with fighting our own causes.

That's just in light of the faceless "board members" that benefit from my hard work and come to visit every 3rd year.


Monday, October 11, 2010

Thoughts from the Cubile Volume 1: How do you say...

Why do people, when unsure of pronunciation of a word and/or name do they decide to attempt and fail to pronounce it a number of times?

They don't know how to pronounce the last name of the person they are looking to speak with so they just change the vowels sounds randomly or make a random letter silent.
Always fun. Always effective... An effective way to get me to put you through to some one's voice mail to make sure you don't speak with them immediately.
Hopefully you will listen to how they pronounce their last name in their greeting and remember it.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Where oh where could my baby be?

Dear Phone,

It's me Jim!
How are you?
I gotta tell you Phone, you have me pretty worried. I mean, I haven't seen you in a while and usually we're inseparable.
I've been tearing up my new apartment looking for you. Are you here? See there's lots of boxes here filled with "our" stuff that used to be "my" or "her" stuff.
I've checked under the bed. I looked inside Recliner and I don't think she enjoyed the search all that much. She did know where Hair Tie and Nail File were... That's cool but I really wanted to see you.
I looked under Bed and in between her sheets. You weren't there...
I laid on the floor in the middle of this semi empty apartment to get a different perspective and I couldn't find you.
I have this weird feeling you might be sitting in the car. Lonely. Cold. Listening to the rain drops kiss the windshield...
Let me re-trace our day:

I saw you this morning. I remember you vibrating letting me know it was time to wake up even though you're only supposed to do that during the week and today is Saturday.

I then brought you along to the mall... Who doesn't love the mall???!!! The girl and I were looking for some stuff for the new apartment. We bought a modem and wireless router so we finally have the internet in this place... That's a good thing.
But I'm getting side tracked......

We then went to check out some couches... I know you didn't take a seat in one of those because a) They were all ugly as shit so we didn't even think about getting one of them and b) I had you by my side when we went to get lunch.

I remember checking what time it was with you when I was on my way home because the girl was a bit worried about the time and getting to work.

I set up the modem and internet router and that's the last time I saw you.
I miss you.
I hopefully will you see you in the car tomorrow when it's a bit lighter and more opportune to search beneath the seats in there.

For now I'm going to sit back and sip some beers. All sad-like mourning you like an ex-lover I can't get over.

Wish you were here,


Monday, September 20, 2010

That much further west

Holy shit, blog.
I'm typing words into here and clearing my head less and less lately.
It's wearing on me.

I am currently at work and in a state of anxiety that has reached a fever pitch.

Here's why:
Today is Monday. Per the usual it is busy as hell at work. I've had McDonalds breakfast and will not eat again until dinner due to the simple fact that the phone is ringing off the hook and I am lucky to not have to piss into a bucket under my desk.

My girlfriend and I have signed the lease for our new apartment and are going to be moving in this Saturday beginning at 10am.
I have packed nothing for this move.

Tomorrow at 7:00am I will be catching a plane and heading to Las Vegas, NV. I have yet to pack for my trip. I need to give myself a haircut (#2 all the way around) and trim my disgusting beard that is overtaking my face/neck in a very unattractive, hobo-like fashion.
We return from LV on Friday at midnight. Surely a little jet lagged and a lotta hungover.

Now, I am in no way dreading the moving in with the girl. That'd be the wrong impression. She is amazing and I can't wait to share an apartment with her (I am hoping/assuming that she will be walking around naked all the time cleaning and serving me food) but it's the actual move that worries me. I have nothing packed. I have no time left at this point to properly package the things that need to be boxed up for this move.

I realize this is all my fault and a disgusting display of procrastination that I have no one to blame for but myself. This just heightens the anxiety as I sit in judgement of myself and my disgusting immaturity shown by not properly preparing for a vacation/move.

Oh well, I shalln't complain about vacationing to Vegas and then moving in with a beautiful girl anymore...

I'm outta here! Gon' go git fucked up and then cab it to Midway at 4am ignoring any/all responsibilities/tasks that need to be completed.

Oh and I think you all should read Jonathan Franzen's "Freedom."
Don't judge it harshly because Oprah selected it for her book club. It really is good.

Peace out.
Wish me luck, if I win some $$$ I'll buy you something pretty!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Domestication Part 1: The dishwasher diaries

Hey there.
I'm at work all fat and lazy after the holiday weekend.

Big things are happening here folks.
I'm moving in with the girlfriend. We both knew it would be happening as the amount we're paying between us is absurd and she practically lives at my place now. We looked at a place over the weekend and she fell in love with it immediately. It is nice. It's a condo that we would be renting from the owner. It's nice. The neighborhood is nice and it's about a mile from the house I grew up in. So I'm keeping it local.

So it's been busy busy busy.

Is it nerve wracking a bit? Yes!
Everyone has their ideas about how this can spell the end of a relationship, right?

I think it'll be okay. I mean, I'm the best room mate ever.
We work opposite schedules a vast majority of the time.
We practically live together now and have been practicing for a while.

That may look like I'm getting nervous about this whole thing and am trying to convince myself. Not true. Nope. Don't you worry about me folks.
I will, however, keep y'all update in this spot and also vent my thoughts frustrations about the whole debacle right here. Edge of your seat shit, I know.

Stay tuned, bitches.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I pledge...

Another long ass day at work.
Two co-workers have the flu so I've been busting my ass and am even go in early tomorrow... Unbelievable...

I kinda disgust myself. I mean I give that place so much but it is so far from what I want to be doing.
I can't complain though. I mean I'm as defiant as the youngster in 2nd grade that puts his hand over his heart for the pledge of allegiance but does not recite the words. A half-ass rebel. Cool.


Monday, August 23, 2010

Thinking with the lights on

It's Monday.
I'm exhausted and don't want to be here at work... Shocking, I know.

The weekend was good though. The batteries got recharged in Wisconsin. Camping... Not really roughing it but at a campground with a nice trailer with running water and a toilet. I did still, however, get devoured by mosquitoes. I also saw a wild cat kill and eat a snake. So wilderness was observed but in a very convenient atmosphere.

The work picnic was awesome. Again, it's not too much to get excited about but there's something to be said for everyone loosening up the tie and getting at some beers and bbq. It was my friend Ang's bday also. After the picnic we all gathered at a local suburban establishment to drink beers and generally discuss past lives. It was wonderful. Ang is a great girl and was a bit bummed, I think, about turning the big 3-0 so to see her just living it up and not really giving a crap, at least for that portion of the night, was great.

I woke up this morning when my girl crawled outta bed at 7:30am or thereabout. She had her first day of school. You see she had previously obtained a bachelors degree for interior design. She tends bar. She is now feeling like this degree is kind of useless to her. So gen eds are going to be completed now and she's going to study medical diagnostic sonography. Don't know what that is? That's the study of rubbing gel on people and looking at organs, little people and the like inside of them. Ultrasound tech is what most people throw out there... Anyway, she was in kind of a hustling, bustling mood and seemed a bit stressed. First days of school can do that to you though right?

I'm getting sidetracked....
I was woken from a dream. An interesting dream that left me quite disturbed in a way and then sort of relieved. See it was a dream that was kind of haunting. I was witnessing what I thought to be a severely disgusting case of incestuous rape that turned out to be a less disgusting case of rape that was not so incestuous. Where did I find the relief? Well, in the little girl who was NOT getting raped. Crazy. Haunting. I remember it quite vividly though. I'm thinking this might be a jumping off point for another fad of writing a lot for a couple of days before kind of giving up because what is being written is kind of hot garbage. We shall see. I'm going to go where the words take me.

That was cheesy, I know.
Listen I'm just psyched to find a bit of inspiration. This is currently coming from both my sub conscious and in seeing my girlfriend undertake something that is a bit of a new start that may seem daunting as hell but is exciting to the same extent. Oh, I'm also inspired by David Mitchell. I'm currently reading "The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet" and am absolutely in awe of his writing. If you read one book this year make it this one!

Good times all around right now. Despite my exhaustion I am in a good mood.
See you dicks and vaginas later. Possibly tomorrow? It is Punk Rock Tuesday at Risque Cafe!

Friday, August 20, 2010

We're out of touch and the space between us spells it out.

Holy shit!
Remember when I had a blog and I used to type words on it? That was awesome...
You see now I have this job that requires me to pretty much be on the phone for 8 hours and when I'm not on the phone I have some shitty little task to be completing. Ugh.

I have to be quick here because I have a company picnic to go to in half an hour. I love company outings. I don't know what it is really. I mean it's not like I really like tossing a water balloon at Howard from accounting while we're both half in the bag all that much... or playing flag football with the entire Human Resources department... or even joining the 3 legged race with the hot new receptionist... but there is something about everyone being themselves amongst each other when usually all these people are constantly kissing so much ass they have shit in their mouth...

It's fun to see just how wacked these fucking people really are. I'm probably the worst, eh?

I gotta go roast weenies, get shitfaced and tell some manager that I'd fuck his wife.


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Lift her, pull her

Work sucks.
My good friend (really only one of maybe 2 people here that I'd actually consider a "friend" and not just a "co-worker") got the axe yesterday. She knew it was coming and wasn't too upset so that's a silver lining. She also had sent out a bunch of applications this weekend and has an interview today having something more to do with what she would like to make her life's work.
So it's good for her but I can't help but be a little upset.

The lack of people that I can stand to have a conversation with is dwindling and plummeting really quick.
I have my friend Ang who cracks my shit up and is probably one of my favorite people in life, not just work. So, there's still her. Also, there this new youngster that seems to have taken a liking to me. Some say it's a crush but whatever. She's nice enough and beside the age gap between the two of us the idea of being engaged in conversation with her does not terrify me, so that's good enough.

Speaking of the workplace I've been notified I will undergo a bit of a transfer. From the back end handling claims and closing them out to the front end. I'll now be taking calls for people reporting the claims. This is (I'm told [it kinda makes sense]) is a move up because I now effect more of the company's bottom line. More claims being handled = more money being charged to the company we are handling them for. Yay! I'll see none of this money so it will continue to be the same grind and same practice of killing the day by surfing the internet.

On the not related to work front I am going to be getting my laptop computer back. It will be less a BUNCH of music I had on there as a new hard drive had to be installed. Bummer. Oh well. I now can get back to writing in the way I feel most comfortable. Not actually writing but typing my thoughts out. I think it's the blinking cursor that urges me to scour the vast emptiness between my ears for some thought/feeling/emotion/problem/solution to move a story along. So that's good.

In my attempt to feed my brain to make sure it's output remains a one of a certain caliber. I'm shooting for something above hot garbage. Anyway I've finished "Remains of the Day" by Ishiguro and have now started on Thomas Pynchon's "The Crying of Lot 49" and it's really sucking me in too. The way Pynchon crafts this whole world filled with supremely original characters is just mind blowing to me. I have read the book before but am giving it another go because I think previously I just read it because it was all the rage. Some Lifter Puller loving indie chick I think recommended it. So the reading may have got me laid but I didn't understand and just used it as a tool to discuss after everyone got high and before I got into her pants.

I'm kinda taking my time with and even consulting a reader's guide or two to patch up anything holes or questions I have while reading. It's great. Highly recommend it.

Anyway, I gotta go to lunch now.
Now that I mentioned them you should probably listen to Lifter Puller. I celebrate their entire catalog.

Monday, July 19, 2010

I got hit in the head by a firecracker this weekend... But enough about the BBQ

How are you all?
This is news nowadays, I guess... As funny as it is I would never think that a news article would have the "journalist" trolling 4chan for research. Heh.

How was your weekend? Good.
Mine was interesting. My girlfriend and I went to the Museum of Science and Industry and that was cool. Kinda got a bit boring at times but for the most part it was enjoyable. We then went to see Brad Paisley in concert. I noticed in the gathering crowds quite a few confederate flags and the such. Hey, ignorant hillbillies will be ignorant, right? Nothing you can do about that... What did make me laugh was what happened after this...

Darius Rucker (former lead singer of famous alterna-pop band Hootie and the Blowfish) who has recapitulated himself in to a country singer of sorts takes the stage to a frenzy of applause and devil horns. I then notice that Darius is wearing a Run DMC t-shirt. Do we see the irony here of these idiotic hillbillies being lead in song by a black country artist wearing a Run DMC t-shirt? Oh man! I loved it.
He then covered a Hank Williams Jr song, "Family Tradition."
He also played three Hootie songs - "Let Her Cry" "I Only Wanna Be With You" and "Hold My Hand" so I was familiar with some of the stuff...

I gotta go. A Monday back after a Friday off is crazy busy!
In closing I must say that I'm nervous about the movie adaption of "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro. It's going to be out in October of 2010, I think... It's starring Kiera Knightley and another Academy Award nominated chick... It looks pretty lame. I suggest you all read the book before every one's telling you how amazing the movie is.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hostels & Brothels

Well well well.
It's my Friday. No work tomorrow. Going to the Museum of Science and Industry and then to that show I mentioned yesterday. I just got out of the bathroom out of the office and it smelled like burnt hair in there. What the fuck?

In news Mel Gibson if is fucking crazy, right?

Amy Winehouse is talking about her new album. Wouldn't it be something if she reclaimed her spot she abandoned when she decided to start doing heroin. That'd be something - don't call it a comeback.

I'm really at a loss here. I'm surfing news and the world's going down a fucking that's for damn sure. I mean the fact that this Mel Gibson thing is making such a splash shows how bad things are. I realize that I sound like an old decrepit shit head when I talk about how the state of today's entertainment is some kinda dirty voyeurism but man, I can't help but feel that way.

In other news my computer's broken and it's driving me mad. Heh. Honestly it's just because my writing has really suffered. I would think that actually having the pen to the paper and scribbling away ideas would be good for me. A type of exercise in the craft of writing... Ya know, actually writing. Nope. I think it's because since high school I really haven't, on a steady basis, actually taken pen to paper. I work behind at a desk behind a computer screen typing words out like the robot I am. To escape that I open a little browser window in the bottom corner of my screen to type these words here. I think something snaps in the process of moving my head with a pen in it to communicate thoughts/feelings/ideas/emotions. Oh well.

I was talking to a girl I work with today who's 21. Made me feel like a real geezer. Do people still say that? I mean this girl was telling me about getting hammered after work. I mentioned it's my Friday so I'll be really getting at it and wished I had someone to hit the bars with me (the girlfriend is working til close) and she was discussing how she has to drink at home because all her friends are not 21. Could you fucking imagine? Jesus.
Again, I'm sounding like a crotchety old fart.

I'm currently reading "The Remains of the Day" by Kazuo Ishiguro and I think I'm going to find a way to sneak a couple pages in while at my desk.
I gotta keep feeding this brain of mine if I want it to have any substantial output. The story I'm currently trying to craft is a coming of age tale (which Remains really isn't) so I'm looking for good coming of age fiction to kinda get the gears turning.
Feel free to advise of your favorite coming of age tale that isn't Catcher in the Rye to help me out.
Be good out there and enjoy your weekend. I'll be shotgunning Bud Lights at a BBQ with The Ghost. Haven't seen that kid in ages so I'm sure it'll be a real love fest.
I have to assume also that maybe connecting with the person that I came of age with might be good to kind of inspire me to rattle off a couple pages at a pace quicker than I am right now.


Enjoy the weekend.
Later fools!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fast food particles stick to the veins.

Howdy. I'm a bit hung over today. Busch Light out of the can at Risque Cafe on punk rock Tuesday hosted by Brendan Kelly will do that to you. I had a great time there though. I enjoyed the music. Enjoyed the $1 tacos. Enjoyed spending time with my girlfriend outside of her bar. I also got some news from Beex that he is playing a solo set at Riot Fest. BK told me that he is "opening the show only to so I can be there."
He said the headliner, who is not announced yet, will blow some minds. What I gathered is it is NOT a Chicago band but is a band that NEVER plays Chicago. Beex joked that with two children and a wife who is the "bread winner" if you will he has to actually be working to enjoy a show. Heh. Regardless I can now vouch for the awesomeness that is the weekly punk rock Tuesday at Risque. Good times.

In other news work sucks and I'm super busy. So my escape from the tedious nonsense is going to be abbreviated.

I'm going to a concert on Friday with the girl to see Brad Paisley and Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. Not my choice... Not my genre... Regardless I can't complain and have to keep the concert attendance relationship even... See if I don't go to a (in my opinion) stinker every now and then I will have no one to go to see the bands I want to see. Give/take is very crucial here.

I also am going to see this dude at his first stand up appearance in Chicago ever. He's also going to be filming it for his next HBO special. Wonderful!!! Can not be more excited.

That is all. Gotta go.
I'm getting ready to run to Taco Bell to soak up some of the Busch Light from last night. Ugh.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.

At work.
The worst hour of the week. The hour before it's quitting time.
I really have none of my own work to do but I have a bunch of shit that I'm helping other people with. There's good and bad about this.

Good - When I get yelled at it's not my fault.
Bad - I get yelled at for other peoples mistakes.

So, I realize a ton of people could care less about sports but it's a huge deal so let's discuss.

Lebron James is going to the Miami Heat with D Wade and Chris Bosh. Wow. That's quite the threesome there.

Wow. That's intense. They're being called "The Legion of Doom."
King James has really just become a HUGE villain in a lot of sports fans' eyes (not those in FL of course). Everyone is hating James and there's talk about how this is collusion and these guys have been planning this since they played in Beijing together, et al...
I think, honestly, the ugliest part of this whole thing is that these 3 guys all signed the contracts they just fulfilled to do this. It's like they were ganging up on the league and plotting this the whole time. That's kinda dirty to me. Not to mention that they all made a huge spectacle about where they were going to go. If they knew this was going to happen save everyone the god damned time and sign with the same team. Fuck. Now these over paid douchebags are stealing the attention my White Sox (winners of their last 5 and the best record in the MLB for the last month) should be getting on Chicago sports talk radio. Whatever. Here's my reasons to hate and not hate Lebron James.

Hate him because:

He took himself out of his "home." All the basketball he's played up until now has been in OH. HE started calling himself "the King" and he is now turning his back on them. All his "witnesses" are deserted and left stunned and with a pretty huge case of blue balls since he hasn't won them dick.

He just recently, in an interview, referenced the "big guy upstairs" in an interview asking him about the people he's disappointed. Woah woah woah, LBJ. I've seen you all over the place since you made a HUGE splash (deservedly) in this league. I've never once (and this confirmed by a Cleveland reporter who's job it is to interview and report on Lebron) heard him talk of his spirituality or love for the big guy upstairs. But now? Now you got some splainin' to do and you're pointing upstairs? I'm not a religious guy myself. This would disgust me if I was. It disgusts me even though I'm not. Don't be a pussy and hide behind the dude that brings everyone presents (same guy, right?) now that the heat (Heh, see what I did there?) is on.

The spectacle he made of himself is just unbelievable. His camp funded the interview. They paid Jim Grey his travel and service expenses to get to Greenwich, CT and perform the softest interview ever. Jim Grey was a god damn puppet for Lebron so that he didn't have to stand up there on his own and stumble through some bullshit that he knew was going to piss everyone off. Ya know what, hate Jim Grey too.

He's a bad man. I mean definition of a man. You think alpha male that is up to the challenge. Wants to be able to prove to everyone and himself that no one can stop him. James decided to throw in the towel. He decided to say, "Fuck it. I can't do it with this team. I am not going to go try and be the man. I am going to take a step back and share the spot with two other guys because I can't handle this on my own." What a bitch!

Now... Reasons not to hate him:

He's a kid. He's 25 years old. I realize that ignorance is not a defense but he came into the NBA directly out of high school. He's had a city on his shoulders. I mean Cleveland is considered a cursed city when it comes to sports. He never had a chance to live any semblance of a normal life. He now gets to go down to Miami Beach and live it up like the celebrity he is. He no longer has to party at the biker bar in Akron, OH.

He wants to play with his friends. These guys were at the Beijing Olympics together. They are three of the more recognizable names in basketball. They are definitely going to be forced to reckon with. I realize that the collusion aspect makes them all look like smug assholes saying "Fuck you NBA. Try to stop us. I dare you." but can you blame them? Think of your best friend working in the same industry you do. Now imagine you two are the best and you're working for competing companies. Now imagine a something happened where you can work at the same company with him. OH! And throw another good friend in the mix just for fun.

He wants a championship. Sure he'll never be mentioned with the Magic's or the Jordan's or even the Kobe's of NBA history but he wants to experience what it's like to be on top. It probably will happen for him. I realize there's only one ball and it will take some practice to balance these 3 super stars and their different talents. Nothing wrong with wanting to be the best at something. Sure he has to sure it with a bunch of other people but hey... Share a string of championships with 2 other big names or never taste one... See what I'm getting at?

Okay. Sports talk over.

In the office here today -
We had a quiz on the policies and practices we are supposed to be abiding by. Dangerous innit? We can expose how dumb some of these people here are... Also (management I'm looking at you here) we can expose how dumb the people that are supposed to be leading and teaching these people are... Uh-oh.

I realized just how much I hate it when people replace "s" with "z" on the end of words.

That is all.
End communique.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Where did Laika go?

I just recently finished "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass and I've got to tell you that book is crazy. A real journey of a novel. When you take into consideration that the dude was 30 years old when he completed the novel it will make you take stock of what the fuck you have done in your life, that's for sure. The novel is translated from German and it's pretty good. It's very rhythmic and has a musicality to the writing that makes it not the easiest-blow-through type read. It's good though.

I'm now starting on Haruki Murakami's "Sputnik Sweetheart" which 20 pages into I can already tell will be a quick read that has me turning page after page. The novel is actually just what I need to read right now. One of the main characters is a young woman named Sumire who is a struggling novelist. Nice. After reading a masterpiece written by a guy not much older than myself I do need to read about someone who's in the shit of it trying to write a novel. Fitting for a guy like me, eh?

In other news I'm really psyched that tomorrow is Friday.
I'm excited about the White Sox and their streak of good baseball.
As I sit here my cubicle mate is involving me in a game of "would/wouldn't" much to my dismay. I don't enjoy these games and really after about 3-4 girls it's just a bunch of pigs we are rating. It's awkward and he's not really stopping...
Gotta go!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Just Watch the Fireworks

Hey there blog. God damn! It reeks like sulfur in here!

So have you got all your fingers still attached? Good. I am currently trying to get a Jolly Rancher unstuck from my teeth and wondering why I enjoy these things so much when I know that I'm going to have a battle with the candy. See it sticks to my teeth in sharp shards that guarantee to cut my tongue and, in some extreme cases, leave it bloody.
Admittedly this is probably my fault. Why can't I just suck on the thing until it dissolves like everyone else does. I can only imagine everyone else does because these things would not be as popular as they are, right?

The weekend+day off recap:
I was camping in Wisconsin and enjoyed myself quite a bit.

First off, I wasn't exactly roughing it. My girlfriend's parents have a trailer that is really nice. You can do your business (poo and pee) in the bathroom inside it. I decided to hit the trees as is traditional for men to do when camping... I'm not sure why but let's not get off track. It has a kitchen with working sink and oven and even a shower in the bathroom. So it's really nice. This is good because I have roughed it before but am in favor of avoiding wiping my ass in the middle of the woods during a thunder storm after I just had a wicked case of the beer shits at 3:00am.

The girls parents have been at this campground, where their trailer is located, for some time. They therefore know many of these people very well. They've all seen my girlfriend grow and mature into the sweet and attractive woman she is today.
Well, sweet and attractive means the boys will have something evil in mind, naturally. Right? On this weekend I was the evil boy. Most of the men and women who were drilling/teasing/interrogating me were good natured and even funny about it really. Jokes at my expense are expected and I can roll with the punches. I mean, after all, my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year now so any threat can be easily squashed by myself by saying, "If I can survive a year with her I've got to be a good guy, right?"
"A little crazy too." Someone will throw out inciting a laugh from all near the campfire.

Well, there's bound to be someone who will take it too far.
There was.

Travis would be proud of this guy and his amazing perseverance. It seemed when almost all people got tired of the "...hurt her and I'll kill you" routine. It also went above and beyond. The "2nd father" title was thrown out there. He had her sit on his lap in my presence and then began slow dancing (to country music.. NATURALLY) with her. There was a hug type embrace that was lasting a bit too long to every one's discomfort that brought me out of my chair and over to where they were to catch myself a predator.
In the interest of full disclosure I must advise that drinks had been consumed... I mean A LOT. I don't know if there was a sober person on that camp ground. My girlfriend and I had both been taking pulls of liquor straight out of the bottle. Not good.
Regardless it was creepy and annoying.

That's pretty much it.
I bonded with her dad because the girlfriend was sleeping in the trailer until 9pm on the following day as she had a case of the vomits.
I was referred to as his son-in-law at multiple points during the weekend... Kinda weird but eh, whatever.

This is really scatter-brained today, innit? Sorry. It's Tuesday after a 3 day weekend...
Maybe tomorrow....

Friday, July 2, 2010

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love.

Good afternoon!
It's Friday and a beautiful one at that. This day is dragging. As per the usual I was at Revolution Brewing last night and had plenty of the devil's sauce leaving me with a nice headache and sensitive stomach. No worries though, I had some White Castle breakfast sandwiches today. Golden.

I am going to craft a fictitious character to reflect general behavior in people that annoy me. Like a Frankenstein of shit that really burns my ass. We'll call him Trevor. He is fictitious, don't forget.

Drum roll...
I present Encounters with Trevor Vol. 1:

Not too long ago I got involved in a discussion with Trevor. Trevor is this guy, even though he is nice enough and means well, I can't stand sometimes. Every conversation with this kid turns out to be a dick measuring type of contest. The easiest, most annoying thing about him is that he talks and talks and talks all while kind of just casually dismissing your points that you make with a "Hmmmmmmm but..." and presents an argument as to why that can not be right without really considering your statement. In talking to him it seems like he just kind of crafts his own drama because if there's none of that in his life then he's bored. He also freely talks about all of this drama because he seems to think this impresses people.

Trevor, last night, was distraught because of his girlfriend breaking up with him and the kid was a wreck. He was telling me that it came out of nowhere.

She suddenly had an epiphany of sorts. Seems he was no longer needed in her life. She explained to him that things just weren't the same.

He explained to me that he is the best boyfriend ever. He makes all his plans according to hers. He is always there for her. He makes sure that he gets as much as his limited time from work will allow. He adores her. She is happy too. He knows it. He doesn't understand why shewould want to do this right now. He is so deeply in love with her that he, frankly does not know what he would do without her. For the time being he's getting drunk.

I told Trevor the answer is right there in his girlfriend's attitude and what she is telling him. Things aren't the same. He's not the same guy that she started dating. He's changed. For the better, he thinks but it's not. She's been cheated. She signed up for the dude that she started dating. She signed up for the guy that had a life of his own and she was not pressured to be the centerpiece of that life. That's a lot of stress man.

I explained to Trevor that he needs to get out there. Go to a bar with friends (he doesn't have too many because naturally he gave them the boot for the girl) and have a couple drinks. Give her the space that she's asking for. There's bound to be some bit of shell shock to her when she drops off this guy's radar, amirite?

He has to revert back to the guy she started dating. Give her some space. Let her miss ya some, Trev. When she's alone and thinking about it there should be a second epiphany: He bugs the shit outta me but this mess they call life is a bit more bearable with him around. If she doesn't come to that realization well then the realtionship is fucked and she's saved Trev some time stringing him along so he can start spiraling into the depression that comes with him being dumped.

Trevor didn't comprehend this and I don't even really know how he proceeded with this woman who does not sound like much of a catch herself. Last I heard though Trevor was back with her.

Good for you Trevor. Hope you kids are happy.

All you non-fictional characters out there enjoy your 4th.
Don't lose a digit or something, okay. If you're having bottle rocket fights make sure to employ a no head shot rule. Just better for everyone!

Me? I'm gonna be in Wisconsin camping with the girlfriend and her parents. It'll be great!

Be safe!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

That's how you debate!

I blacked out... What happened?
I looked up at the clock and it was 6:15pm.
Unbelievable... Good news: I got a shit ton of work today. I was handling claims like Taz... Grunting and groaning just like that.

I have a lot I want to do tonight and am not sure how it's going to shake down:
1) Watch the White Sox (hopefully) beat the Royals
2) Go running
3) Get another 50 pages (at least) deeper in to "The Tin Drum"
4) See my girlfriend. She's working til close and when I start at 10:30am and work til 7:00pm and she starts at 6:00pm and works til 3:00am I have to sacrifice and go visit her at her workplace that just so happens to serve delicious beer and food... I shouldn't complain though.

We'll see how many of these things get done...
I know #4 will fo sho!


Monday, June 28, 2010

I got my mind on my tummy and my tummy on my mind.

Howdy all! Did we all have a great weekend? Awesome.
I myself am at work and just had Burger King. I'm kinda disgusted in myself. I, being a true American and therefore a glutton, decided to order a Whopper Value Meal and of course "Go LARGE!" I have this huge Dr. Pepper and Frypod (the King's a clever guy) at my desk strewn about whilst I sit reclining with pants unbuttoned. Okay not really but I feel like a slob. Burger King however, took the liberty of making me feel uber disgusting.

Why is that?

Oh, only because they are doing a promotion for The Twilight Saga "Eclipse" which is in theaters June 30th according to my cup. You see, I now have this ginormous cup at my desk that has a drawing of the 3 main characters on it. It's got the Wolf dude, the chick and the sparkly vampire on it. Unfortunately, I must admit I know the names of these characters (Jacob, Bella and Edward... Ugh) due to the fact that I watched the first movie, my girlfriend is a fan of the books and you can't go anywhere without these fucking tools' faces pasted all over the place.

To quickly defend my girlfriend she is a fan of the books. Not the movies. I realize that it's the easy thing to do to shit on a movie after having it popularized and reading the book minutes before the movie hits the box office. However, the gf really did read the book first.

Now on to the series itself. It kinda grosses me out that it is really, when you get down to brass tacks, is the wet dream of a 30 something creepy mom. She considers herself a straight laced member of the Church of JC and his Latter-day homeboys... Really!? REALLY!!! Yet you're having a vamp sneak into some little-town cutie's room to ravage her in the middle of the night. Nice.

Whatever. I can't be bothered to even hate on this series anymore. It's to easy. I leave you with a funny little exchange I had via e-mail with a co-worker who is one of my favorite people. She's hilarious.

From: Taone, Jim
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 13:51
To: *****, Ang
Uhhhhhhhh way to be lame Ang...
You didn't even obviously know what you were talking about with "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse."My oversized, dirty American glutton BK cup tells me that it's out June 30th.

From: *****, Ang
Sent: Mon 6/28/2010 2:00 PM
To: Taone, Jim
Heh I swear I saw some crap on the news about people camping out for it and stuff…they can’t be out there already??!!

From: Taone, Jim
Sent: Monday, June 28, 2010 14:02
To: *****, Ang Possibly... I mean it's just two more days... Do you have tomorrow and the following day off?Cuz I was planning on camping out. If you wanna keep each other company that'd be cool... I plan on dressing up (read: down) like Jacob so I'll be walking around without a shirt on and a wolf tail attached to the back of my ripped up shorts... Whaddya say!?

From: *****, Ang
Sent: Mon 6/28/2010 2:09 PM
To: Taone, Jim
Umm dude, I’m team Edward…

Okay, maybe that wasn't super funny but it had me laughing my ass off (LMAO for you youngsters). See what happens when you work in a dull, dumb office?
Have a great day!
Jim "Team Jacob" Taone

Friday, June 25, 2010

What the hell is a jiggawatt?

Well, I'm a bit embarrassed.
Due to a bit of a clerical error here at the Dusty Floors offices I celebrated a little bit prematurely. What happened, exactly, is that I had a post that I had started but never published. That counted in my lists of posts even though it was only a draft. So.... This here. Right now. This post is the 100th. Wooooohoooooooooo!!!!
Awesome. The plans for a spin off remain intact.

I am currently sitting at my desk and am busy as a beaver per the usual. It's Friday so I'm pretty stoked to get out of here. I'm in a pretty good mood, honestly. My room mate and I put together a patio furniture set last night and then proceeded to drink Corona (again: shitty, I know but my taste buds find it to be a good warm weather beer) on the deck until 2:00am. That usually screams hangover but I felt pretty good this morning.
I am currently listening to the White Sox absolutely smash the Cubs. Which is awesome.
Someone at this office did something that kinda pissed me off though.
Here's what happened.

So I was talking about the Sox and how they are killing the Cubs (they jumped out to a real early lead) and was kinda giving this guy here, who is a known Cubs fan, a bit of a hard time about the failure to excel at the game they get paid millions upon millions of dollars to play. He then tells me "I'm converted" and starts to explain to me how the Cubs suck and he is hoping that the Sox win...
Wait. Let's back it up here.
I clearly remember this clown giving me shit last year when the Cubs were beating the Sox. I mean, we've had e-mail chains that lasted days/weeks about the crosstown rivalry. Now, though that the Cubs are bad and the Sox are riding a 9 game winning streak you give me this "Go Sox" thing and tell me your team, that you previously defended and bragged about to no end, sucks so you don't care anymore?

That's bullshit.
I understand if someone is going to turn their back on something that they previously defended or was a fan of for reason of change.
Example - I am now giving up on the Cubs until they put a good product out on the baseball diamond or I am turning my back on 7-11 hot dogs until they don't make me shit liquid down the side of my leg or I am no longer going down on Susie until she smells like something other than the fish monger after an 8 hour day.
This guy, however, is not doing that. He is not that clever. Plus he told me about last nights game so I know he's still tuning in.

Also, it's never cool to be a fair weather fan and or bandwagon jumper in any situation.
It's a cheap cop out that make you look like a sniveling little dickhead. It's a quick escape for someone who can't stand up for themselves.
If you like something that sucks and someone gives you shit about it stand up for yourself. Tell them to get fucked.
If I was this guy I would stand up against me. I'd tell me "You know what, you're right, they do suck. I just remember the first game my pop ever took me to. I had some peanuts, a hot dog and an Old Style or two. Shit like that sticks with you when and yeah they suck. Yeah you're team's beating my team right now. Guess what you can go fuck yourself until you're the one swinging the bat or throwing the cutter that strikes someone out."
I realize that argument is lame and would make anyone sound like a bigger pussy than they would come across for abandoning ship but it's just an example of the principle.

A lot of people have their opinions of sports, politics, religion and pubic hairstyle formed by friends/family/Georgina the hobo that panhandles at the Addison exit of the Kennedy at a young age. For some silly reason, especially when talking about sports, it means something pretty important to us. So don't be a little bitch and sell all that out so easily.
Have a little pride, some conviction and goddamnit stand up for yourself!

It's Friday I gotta finish my shit here to get home and have some deck beers.
I'm going to tease my room mate about this Cubs game and guess what... I guarantee he'll take it down like a champ because he's not a pussy.
Peace out bitches.
Go Sox and more so GO WEEKEND!!!
Love all y'all.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Well well well

Happy anniversary non-existing readers of this blog that fails to entertain, even me the author, at times. 100th post. It's exciting. I had a lot planned in way of guest bloggers, contests, gifts bags for any/all commenters but all that fell through.
It really kind of crept up on me, this 100th post. I guess time passes pretty quickly when you're stuck in a cubicle just generally loathing your existence but not doing a damn thing to change it. Yaaaaaay!

I do have something in the works on this 100th anniversary that I am not going to let out of the bag just yet. I'll give you a hint, it's a spin-off of sorts. That doesn't give it away, does it? Good. Get psyched.

I really don't have much to type here today. I think I'm taking a reflective type attitude here. Just kinda kick back and enjoy this 100th post.

Back to work.
I can't believe I'm still here.
Oh, but I'm writing. Don't forget that!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It's Jameson it means that I'm still alive...

I'm hung over today, blog.
Not the usual alcohol/liquor induced hangover as the title would suggest. Nope that's just a line from a great song. I'm hung over from some of the finest meats served by gauchos at a place that has a wine aerialist that gets you wine from their cellar. I'm talking about the one and only Texas de Brazil. I'm experiencing a meat hangover (heyooooooooo!). Honestly it was amazing and totally worth every cent I spent. It was a bit pricey.
Here's some of what I ingested (all meat medium rare):
Fillet Mignon
Fillet wrapped in Bacon
Garlic Fillet
Flank Steak
Chicken breast wrapped in bacon
Parmesan chicken
Beef short rib
Lobster bisque
Fresh tomato with fresh mozzarella and smoked provolone
Seared tuna
Cajun shrimp

It is currently raining outside which is a problem for me... You see I would LOVE to go for a run today and start to try counteracting meatageddon but I ain't running in no downpour.

Before going into an absolute meat coma last night I decided to open up the composition book and scribble down some words. Got a couple pages and what I think would constitute a chapter... What the fuck do I know though, right?
Are dream sequences cool? Is it a good way to start a story?
I do not know the answer to either of those questions but nonetheless have started my story thinking the answer is yes. I am hoping I will still answer these questions with a yes when I'm deeper into this thing a bit...
I've been reading a lot of short fiction lately (thanks to the New Yorker's 20 Under 40 stories) and am wondering if I should write short stories (I've heard it called flash fiction... Oooooooh Cool!) and have also been reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass (which clocks in at 550+ pages) thinking I probably could not complete a novel.
Is it too early to ask these questions? I'm sure it is.
Is it way to early to be checking out LitPark and Word Hustler on Of course! I mean these blogs are for writers who have written something of substance and have a manuscript they're looking to shop around. They talk about agents and publishers. Heh. Wanna pump the brakes a bit Jim?

Really, I walk the halls of my workplace every day and loathe it whole-heartedly. So the writing gets me uber stoked right now. Even if it goes absolutely nowhere at this time it's working to soothe the urges to burn down an insurance office in the suburbs of Chicago.
This is good. This is progress.

I gotta pretend to work for the final hour of my day.
Be kind out there but not too kind.

Monday, June 21, 2010

You've been struck by a smooth criminal.

Another Monday.
Work is craaaaaazy. The phone's are blowing up and it seems the cool thing to do is just let them ring off the hook. The good thing about all of this is it's making my day really fly by.

I watched Michael Jackson's "This Is It" last night. Amazing. I honestly wish I could dance like Michael Jackson. All of it. Short black pants, white socks, black loafers, glove and monkey. Okay, Bubbles never really played a part in the dancing but I bet it's bad ass to own a monkey.
Other than "This Is It" the weekend was pretty phenomenal. Had a bit of a beach day on Saturday. The room mate and I had a cooler that was filled with a full case of Corona (I realize it's shit beer but I don't care. We were sitting on the beach in the sun and them fuckers was ice cold. Delicious!) and a twelve pack of Bud Light.

Yesterday was Father's Day. It was pretty chill. I just went over to the parent's place and provided my greeting card and fifty Best Buy dollars to dad as a bit of thanks for putting up with one hell of an asshole for 24 years. He seemed psyched. He, as dad's are prone to do, could not accept his gift without giving something back. He extended a bit of fashion advice (he thought my shorts looked like "old man shorts") and a book shelf that is going to be put to great use in my apartment.

Main reason I bring up Father's Day is because of the writing I'm doing. I've started a story. I haven't really got too deep into it just yet. I have decided though that it is going to explore the relationship between a father and his son. I don't really know anything concrete at all at this point, just general ideas. I don't know if this subject matter kinda crept into my head subliminally with all the Father's Day sales in the stores/commercials/ads/etc.
I think it's going to be a coming of age type story that has a father/son relationship at the heart of it. I've literally wrote one paragraph and have maybe a chapter kind of outlined in my head. We'll see how it goes.
Hot garbage? Maybe.
Do you have a story that you're currently writing? Then go fuck yourself.

In the ongoing plug of my girlfriends workplace I am pleased to announce that Revolution Brewing (who's site for some reason is now blocked by the internet police at my work) is now serving brunch on the weekend. For anyone who has drank a bit too much on Friday and/or Saturday you should sneak in there for a delicious bloody mary and something to soak up that hangover. Still drunk from the night before? Catch a cab! Please don't get a DUI. Ladies performing their Saturday morning walk of shame - head in to Rev.
There was a soft open about 3 weeks ago and I sampled the Biscuits with gravy and prosciutto. Amazing!

I'm probably going to go there tonight for a beer or two.
Go there. Tip the bartender with the nose ring well.

P.S. I've learned over the weekend that I am 15 puzzle master.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Wishing for windows to throw you from

I'm at work and it's raining like crazy.
I find it highly irritating the amount of panic and general rowdiness this creates.
Whether it's the dude that is walking from his desk proclaiming that he does not want to be sitting by the windows or the woman who's in a shit mood now because she left her east facing bedroom window opened. Every thunder clap is like a rallying cry for douchebagerry. Unreal. I mean it's not like it's THAT serious!

In other news it's Friday and I couldn't be more excited.
Rain or shine I don't have to be back in this place until Monday. I'm really tiring of it, honestly. It pays the bills though. I think I'm going to be piecing my resume together soon.

Since I've posted a real entry here a lot has gone down. Let's see...

I've used my passport for the first time.
That was awesome. Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic with the girlfriend. It was amazing. We left at 5:00am from O'Hare which means we had to be at the airport no later than 4:00am. With my girlfriend working at a bar until midnight that night and then packing this means that we did not sleep prior to our first day on vacation. We were somewhere above FL when we had both been awake for 24 hours.
It was a good vacation though. It was a real vacation. No excursions. We stayed on the resort and generally just ate and drank and slept. Tanned up a bit. I'm still peeling from every delicious ray of sun.

My computer has bit it.
Fucked. I was downloading some music (to be specific it was Ben Nichols' "Last Pale Light in the West" [which is a concept album based on Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian or the Evening Redness in the West"]) and playing an emulated version of Final Fantasy I for GameBoy Advance when the computer froze up. I turned it off manually and turned it back on to the normal VAIO start up screen. Shortly there after it made a pretty odd nose and then I got a screen that says "No operating system found." I've seen nothing but this screen since. I am to assume it's the hard drive.

I've read.
Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian or the Evening Redness in the West" was pretty good. Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" was pretty amazing but didn't really stand up to all his other work I'm familiar with. The New Yorker's "20 Under 40" issue has some pretty great writers all under 40 years of age. I'm currently reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass as I mentioned briefly last night. It's amazing. This Oskar Matzerath guy is pretty crazy. Heh.

I got another ticket.
I did not realize that the red light cameras take pictures of you when you turn on red during the hours when it is not permitted. Sneaky bastards...

I've had an anniversary.
My girlfriend and I realized at dinner last night that our one year anniversary passed while we were looking the other way. At least it was both of us so no one got pissed or started an argument. Some suggest this shows that we are perfect for each other. Who knows...

I've made more vacation plans.
September 21-24. Las Vegas, NV. "The Ghost" is having a bachelor party that lasts four days and consists of us getting hammered and gambling in Vegas. Solid.

I think that's all of note. I mean more has happened but not really worth typing out here. Not that any of that shit above me is.

I've started writing also. I think I might start documenting my progress with that. It might be fun for all my fans to have a look at when my writing started after I have published my first novel and it beats whatever John Grisham book is released at that time for the #1 spot on the NY Times Bestseller list. It'll be fun.

Peace out, y'all.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I'm blogging from my girlfriend's phone. It's unreal
So annoying.
My computer is fried... I think it's the hardrive.

I'm currently swamped at work and reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass.
The girl and I are going to watch a movie and hit it. I gotta start doing this shit from work again!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


do they make the frozen White Castle's taste just like the ones you get from that actual Castle?

Monday, May 24, 2010

If it weren't for you meddling kids I would have gotten away with it.

Back to my roots. Back to where this all began. The Dusty Floor Genesis.
I'm at my sister's house. Watching the kids. It started last night and will continue through Wednesday. 7pm-7am. Sis is working overnight at the hospital scanning fat chicks' bellies to tell them what flavor of kid they are having. My bro-in-law is on a fishing trip.
Do you know how hard it is to get 3 kids to sleep when BOTH parents are nowhere to be found?
No. You don't. Unless your my sister. The rest of you have no idea!

It's cool though. It wasn't really challenging at all today but that may be due to the fact that they didn't sleep so well last night and then had to wake up for school this morning and go through all that.

When I got here today they my niece was watching Scooby-Doo. While watching a question popped into my head.
Why have a laugh track on Scooby-Doo? It's a cartoon!!! Am I supposed to believe that the show was drawn in front of a studio audience? Unreal.

Food Network is on in the background and Alton Brown is on. That dude is a huge nerd and I'm not sure how he got a show. He preaches at you about pickles and their history and quickly runs through how to make a curry for the last 1/4 of the show. I don't get his appeal.

I'm still writing. I'm writing and reading when I get stuck and then writing when I have something else rolling through my head. I feel that this is a good idea though, no? I mean it's comparable to your stomach, the mind is.
If you eat ice cream and raw bacon all day long well you're going to feel pretty shitty. You'll be living like a rock star (if you're doing heroin whilst eating the ice cream/raw bacon) but you'll feel shitty. Same thing, I think, with the brain. You're not going to produce anything worth even reading back to your pet ferret unless you're stimulating your brain to begin with. Thus, the novel reading marathon I've been on.
I'm currently reading "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami. I was going to read Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" but my room mate took an interest in the book and, well, I haven't seen that kid read a book since grade 6 so I didn't want to stop the possible gourmet meal his brain may be feasting on.

In other news the Chicago Blackhawks are going to the Stanley Cup Finals which is pretty huge.
I start a writing class that is somewhat a workshop. This starts Wednesday June 9th. I will be in the Dominican Republic from June 3rd until June 8th. Busy busy busy.
I'm looking forward to it.
It's over $400 for this class so I'm really testing the waters as to whether or not I'm going to actually do something with this writing. I'm nervous like a kid on his first day of school yet am very excited! It'll be fun, I hope.
Or it will crush my dream and ambitions.
Wish me luck.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Captain of wha?????

The upcoming Captain America filmed was shot entirely outside the United States of America. That tickles me a bit...

I'm at work.
I was late today by an hour.
Hungover. Not a headache so much but a wicked case of the beer shits.
I went to The Lawrence Arms and Dead To Me show at Subterranean last night. It was great. I screamed every word like a madman and got piss drunk. I lost all control of my mouth and my bodily functions as well. Great.
The girl and I went to Big Star after the show and I remember being disgusted by their tiny portions. What is that place a fucking tapas bar? Unbelievable.
I was wicked hammered but a great time was had. The show was aces, for sure.

I am now waiting to get the fuck out of dodge and get home. I have a few things to do before I really just kind of pass out due to the exhaustion from last night.
One of the things I'm going to do is go to the book store. I need to pick up a couple books to continue my marathon of novels.
As I said before I'm writing now. Writing, not music (as I have discussed here before) but a story. I'm looking in to taking a creative writing workshop (Fiction I) and that should be fun. Really I'm just kinda throwing some shit at the wall to see if anything sticks.

Being a novelist seems like it'd be a sweet gig, right? Crank out a novel. Sit back and reflect on your success. Start scribbling shit down that will become your next novel that will be published in 4 years. Beats this fucking cubicle I'm sitting in right now, that's for sure. Honestly, I'm going to take this class to really work on my writing in general. I probably won't write the next great American novel but certain things can come from writing that don't have to be writing published fiction, right? I like writing so I figure even if this is just a small step toward bettering myself as a writer it is a good thing.

We shall see.
For now I have to replace Haruki Murakami's "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles" (never lend a casual hook up DVDs, books, well really anything you don't want to be lost forever in the abyss that is seeing someone with all the lights on when you're sober).
I think I'm going to purchase Cormac McCarthy - "The Road" and maybe something else that catches my eye whilst browsing.

I'm out. Gotta go come down from this high the show has left me with.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A 6 month re-occurring dream

I'm writing.
Just writing without knowing what the fuck it's all about or where it's going.
Not here, no. Other places.

Feels good to get back to this space a little bit, though.
Works been crazy therefore I haven't written in this space.
I'm clearing my mind and staying sane by reading. Feels good.
I read Zadie Smith's "White Teeth" which was pretty solid.
Also read Kazuo Ishirugo's "Never Let Me Go" and that was also very good.
They're both Brits and I hadn't known that bfeore hand.
I read every characters lines in a British accent.
I'm now on "White Noise" by Don DeLillo and we all know that thing is pretty solid.

My girlfriend came home at 6:30am this morning puking all over the place. I hope she's alright but also am very nervous about her being well enough to get her ass up and go with me to see The Lawrence Arms at Subterranean tonight.
Nerves are contracting and contorting. I am sweating a bit as I type this.
Her phone is busted and I have no form of contact. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I'm going to be pissed if I have to go to this show alone.
That is all.
I am writing.

WHEW! My friend at work tells me that my girlfriend reached out to her via Facebook. She is not snoring in a pile of her own drool/vomit on the couch at my place. She awake, alive and hopefully ready to party!!!

Maybe I'll beam about the show in this space tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

In regards to myself

Wow. I haven't been spending any time on here lately...
Quickly here as I'm on BL number 8 without a substantial dinner and it is time to pass out...
Must tell you, blog. Things are a-brewin.
Can't talk about it now but it's serious...
I'll holler at ya when I have time for more than just a type and run.


Thursday, April 15, 2010

The ratio of people to cake...

Hey blog.
Man, it's late. I'm beat.
I've been super busy at work and it's unreal.
I'm not going to complain about work... Nope... I am, however, going to try and figure the solution to a bit of a conundrum.
See, I am a pretty nice guy in general. Outgoing and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I can often be heard saying "he/she means well" when people get to shit talking about other people at work... I feel like for the most part people do mean well. No one does shit that is annoying specifically to annoy someone, right? They are just trying to fit in or get some attention. The latter of which I will not defend someone for. When Patricia comes up to me and starts annoying me with nonsense about how Emily is banging Gary she doesn't KNOW that she's being annoying. No. She thinks she's fitting and possibly doing me a favor by passing her knowledge (read: assumptions) in to the latest "who's blowing loads on who's back in the executive conference room" game at work.

This is annoying but again she doesn't know it.
What do I do? Oh, I sit there and probably work through her storytelling occasionally glancing over, giving a nod or possibly even maybe a laugh. So Patricia starts coming to me more often with more "info." Then Cynthia comes by and decides to start telling me how she saw Patricia talking to me and while, Patricia is nice, she's a total bitch. Cynthia now starts telling me how she heard from Rob that Patricia said that her ass looked fat today. Then after Cynthia leaves Antonio comes over and asks if I'm close with Cynthia because her ass looks good today and I should put in the good word for him so he can stuff that. Finally my manager comes over and says something along the lines of "I see all you fuckers talking all day long. Hope you have enough time to actually finish your work."

You know who doesn't have to deal with this? The loner. This guy is a fucking mongoloid. Not literally but in the office social chain sense. You can come to him with some gossip and maybe he says something like, "Unless this is about the TPS reports I don't have time for a conversation." Maybe he just picks up the phone and ignores the person.
Maybe he smells like shit and is all greasy and looks like he showers once every other week. No one bothers that guy with the social goings on of the workplace.

Alright, so the dirty, greasy guy might be a bit over the top just to get people to quit bugging me but I envy that guy sometimes. Who I really envy is the I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-your-gossip-I'm-putting-in-my-eight-hours-and-leaving guy. I myself am a typical social being that himself needs some attention. Also, I am programmed to feel bad if I'm stuck in the corner eating my bag lunch all by myself while all these people are suddenly gossiping about me.
I want a bit of attention from the new, hot girl. Am I going to be banging her up against a urinal after work is over? No. I'm just programmed to want to be accepted and liked. Sometimes it angers me.
Whatever. I think I'm not going to shower tomorrow and stop wearing deodorant to see if I can start phasing out the annoying people.

In the real world I made sushi for the first time yesterday. It was just okay but it seems like one of those things that you get better at the more you try it.
I'm on my 7th Bud Light and that sniveling, nerdy, prick face Alton Brown is on my TV on the Food Network. Out of all the Food Network "stars" he's my least favorite. Stop trying to educate me. He doesn't even show his boobs
Gotta go. I've got to sleep to prepare for the grind that will be tomorrow.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Something I'm not.

Right now I'm drinking my 5th Bud Light and killing time before getting some free beers served to be from my girlfriend at an AMAZING bar
I went with my girlfriend to Glenn's Diner (I had a lobster roll and she had the crab cake eggs benedict) on Saturday and the weather was great. We sat outside and then took a stroll around the Ravenswood neighborhood in Chicago. It was great. She stopped in to an antique shop and got a lovely little necklace. We browsed some lovely old houses and great looking new condos... Then it all hit me. I have absolutely no idea of when and how I would ever find myself owning a home in a neighborhood that does not have crime cameras, gunshots ringing and drug dealers slanging all within a stone's throw.

Then I read bad sandwich chronicles this morning. Couple that with just having finished "Never Let Me Go" and I really feel like I've got to get my shit together.
I really gotta take a chance. I don't want to be a fucking robot sitting behind a desk all day producing some shit that will never in any way effect more than five people.

In other news I received a sushi kit in the mail. I'm going to start making my own sushi. We'll see how that goes.
I am now starting to read the novel "White Teeth" by Zadie Smith. We'll see how that goes.
I'm going to start working out and get rid of this gut. We'll see how that goes.
I'm going to stop being late to work. We'll see that goes.

I'm going to stop blogging now.
I'm done.
Going to chug a beer and then head over by the girl to drink some more. Soon will be drunk and any/all worries will be a mile away. Then I wake up.
Fuck me.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

I can disappear any time I want to, any time I need to.

I'm going to see Motion City Soundtrack at the House of Blues tonight. So that title is pretty funny because it's the chorus to their current single but also related to the fact that I post on such an irregular basis in this spot, lately... What's that you say? It actually isn't funny and/or clever if I have to explain it? Damn.

Well, not much is new...
I'm getting fatter and still not running.
I'm working harder and still making shit money.
I'm drinking more and still kind of have a general anxiety that my life is headed down the pooper.

I've really had an anxiety lately that is just general and over-the-top. The other day I had this dread that was really fucking my brain, hard. I got home and had this feeling that was doing my head in that I had left something that was very integral to my plans for the night (drinking and watching the Blackhawks game) at work. I don't know what it was. I had left my novel I'm currently reading in the car but that wasn't it. I never figured it out and after a couple beers and the Blackhawks win the feeling was gone but fuck me if it didn't really gnaw at me for a couple hours.

I think my general anxiety and feeling of dread is just because I'm getting older. I'm at the age in which I can no longer pin my shortcomings and disappointments on anyone else. I'm where I'm at because of the things I've done and choices I've made. I have only myself to blame/thank for where I'm at. I think once I started to realize this little by little (this began at age 25) is when I started to feel like I'm just fucked in general when it comes to life.
I am now, at this point in my life, trying to reverse all the fear, self-loathing, apathy and anxiety. So I am attempting to plan out the future, save some cash and shape the clay in to something that's not an ashtray that sits on the end table unused. The girl helps with that. I mean I have a future in which I'm starting to plan for and it's with a pretty awesome girl too, so that helps.

Ugh. I feel defeated just typing that shit.
Re-focusing now...
I was woke up today by the garbage men today banking dumpsters off the brick outside my bedroom... This maddens me to no end but my favorite blog really put it all in to perspective for me. That gave me a good smile and laugh.

Other things that are making me smile currently:
Motion City Soundtrack's discography
The novel "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro
The collected stories of Raymond Carver - "Where I'm Calling From"
The Chicago Blackhawks
The Chicago White Sox
The Easter bunny, his gifts and leftovers from his dinner
My girlfriend, my room mate, my friend Ang
The prospect of making sushi on my own at home
Ricky Gervais

In closing I think this was a solid return, blog. I mean, I formed a list, spewed about almost breaking down and talked about how awesome my girlfriend is... Yep. Solid!

Oh, also the other day I had a dream that I was living out the plot of "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro with Kristen Stewart. Odd.
I gotta get to work and then go enjoy the synth tinged styling of Motion City Soundtrack.
See ya out there!


Thursday, April 1, 2010


Woah. It has been over a week since I put thoughts to a keyboard and recorded it here. Unbelievable. I've been really busy with work and am currently fighting a cold. OH! There is also that thing called Final Fantasy XIII that has commanded a lot of my attention.

It's April Fools Day. I am not really playing any jokes. My only prank was switching all the buttons on the keyboard of a dude that sits across from me. The joke was really on me because after getting all the keys off the amount of dust and dead skin under all the keys made me want to vomit. Ugh.
So what's new with you, blog? Great.

I read this article today.
You're not going to read it. Okay. I'll explain.
Seems that scholars, parents and watchdog groups think that Ronald McDonald should retire. Seems he promotes child obesity. One Raj Potal is quoted in the article saying, "Ronald McDonald may wear a big smile, but hit boots are steel-tipped."
Michele Simon with the Martin Institute says, "McDonald's is really skirting on treacherous legal ground when they target children as young as 3 years old, as Ronald the clown clearly does."
Give me a fucking break! Honestly this buck passing is such horse shit that I can't even stomach it anymore. Listen, last time I checked 3 year old children aren't going to McDonald's and forking over cash for a Happy Meal, are they? Nope. It's the parents who are driving down the street kids in tow that drive thru to pick up a artery clogger with a toy.
I understand that there's a larger issue here with the fact that some parents have to work around the clock in this shitty economy to put food on the table and with the cost and time it takes to make a good home cooked meal it's not worth for the to NOT buy something fast and cheap. I get that. I would never shit talk those parents or question what they decide to feed their children. However, I think these other high and mighty dildos should leave the clown alone.
McDonald's Corporation responded explaining that the Ronald McDonald House charities has helped over 4 million children so the clown's giving back. He paid his dues leave him alone.

It's just the passing of the buck here that pisses me off. You don't want children to be obese, fat and die then don't feed them this shit. They're not sneaking off any buying it on there own. Get them outside and off the TV. Or, and I love this one, set an example for them. I don't know how many times you see the obese kids and every one's all upset for them but the parent is a huge fat ass themselves. Well, that's because as you're eating triple whoppers four at a time you can't really tell your kids to eat their veggies, can you? Nope.

Again, the passing of the buck upsets me.
In other news I do not plan on being one of those parents constantly shoving fast food down my kids throat... Oh no. I mean, I'm nervous sure but I think I'll be a great dad!!!
Be safe out there.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The puck drops here.

Hey, blog!
I'm Mr. Happy Guy today.
My girlfriend is amazing. I know I always type about how I don't really cover it here because it's lame, cheesy, boring, et al. This in turn makes it like I really am always talking about how amazing she is. Whatever. Listen, she bought me Final Fantasy XIII ( Which I think I may have mistyped here as Final Fantasy XIV yesterday, [can't be bothered to check {or correct it for that matter}]) I was right! She really puts up with a lot of nerdiness from me and now she is contributing to it... Wow.

Anyway, I ripped that bad boy open and played about 40 minutes of it this morning before work. It's amazing. I know, I know my bias for the series really leaves me totally objective while talking about any Final Fantasy game. Seriously though, if nothing else it is absolutely stunning. Just gorgeous. Pretty fun to from what I've cracked in to so far.

Other news. The girl and I had an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet at a place we had not tried before near her house called Hiro's Cafe. It's BYOB and the buffet is only $17.95. I know one should always be weary of a sushi buffet, period. One that is south of $20.00 could be real sketchy... Honestly though, it was amazing...

List time.
I can't find the menu online so this is generally what the roll was like
Rolls consumed by Jim and his girlfriend at the buffet last night:

Miso Soup (realize it isn't a roll but we did have it as an app)
Tako Sushi (Octopus)
Maguro Sushi (Tuna)
Fried Bagel Roll (cream cheese, smoked salmon and then the whole thing is deep fried)
Calamari Roll (tempura baby squid)
Bikini Roll (Avocado & whitefish oustide / Siracha, salmon inside)
Hot & Bothered Roll (Tuna, spicy mayo, siracha, jalapenos, a bunch of spicy shit)
Mexico Roll (Avocado, tuna, cilantro, cucumber)

There may have been more I honestly can't remember...
Regardless we dominated that stuff. I had a bit more than the woman but that's to be expected.
Lots of food. Honestly though I'm buying a scale. I need to see how much I weigh and then be encouraged to drop some of the extra weight I'm carrying around lately.

For tonight the girl and I are going to Rock Bottom. Gonna visit some of her old friends/co-workers and get some dinner and drinks.
Blackhawks play at 7:30pm. I'm psyched.
Tomorrow I'm really going to start diving in to Final Fantasy XIII. See the girl works until close. So between the time my room mate hits the hay and the girl needs me to pick her up I'll be navigating through the fictional world of Cocoon.

God, I'm a loser.

Monday, March 22, 2010

P.S. I love you.

Wow. That weekend when by really quick.
Too quick.
I did get myself a bit hammered and that tends to blend night in to early morning in to 2:00pm when I finally crawl out of my casket.

I had some great food and a bunch of drinks this weekend. Work, as per usual lately, has me barely squeezing this thing in here. I don't like it.
I realized today, upon arriving at work, that I forgot my mother's birthday. It was March 10th. Oops. I feel like a real dickhole and called her immediately. She laughed it off. I feel like a dick. Ugh. My brother's birthday is March 25th and you can be sure that I won't forget that one.

Tonight the girl and I are going to eat some delicious Japanese food and pop a bottle or two. See, we want to save some cash so we're going the BYOB route. Funny, right? We don't just not go out to eat. We go somewhere where we can bring drinks to. I laughed.
She had the day off and has apparently bought me a gift... Could be a number of things...
List time? Nah. Can't be bothered. Honestly, the only thing I can think it would be that I've been talking about lately would be Final Fantasy XIV for PS3... I don't think that's it though. I am inclined to think that she saw something that I would like or find funny and she picked it up for me. We'll see.

The worst thing is when the sun is shining in through the office windows. While I am surrounded by cubicle walls. Fuck me.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

It's thursday, I'm watching the walls instead.

Hey there, blog. How are you? Great. That's awesome.
Work has been kicking my ass, as per usual. They had me training today. I am going to assume I will continue to do so until this relatively clueless sponge has soaked up all the information my brain can jizz at him. Seems like a nice enough guy. However, I do find him wanting to chat more so than learn about this job... Can I blame him for that, though? No. I certainly can not.
Look, I gotta make this fast... I figured I would at least put in writing the reason that I am not writing.

I'm going to make dinner tonight. Fire Roasted Tomato, Spinach and Shrimp linguine... Hope it's good...
We should talk again soon!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Gillette. It really is the best a man can get.

Holy moses, blog. I'm a wreck.
I called in to work yesterday. I was drunk beside my mind on both Friday and Sunday.

I drunkenly shaved my face Sunday night. Wow. This is yielding all types of responses from "super cute" all the way to people just laughing in my face. Spur of the moment type thing which looking back upon, might have been a bad idea. The girl is a bit disappointed. Well, not disappointed but it's a change. Something to get used to, right? I mean she brought this up to me yesterday. She had only seen me with a clean shave in pictures. I mean in the time we've been dating I've always had some sort of facial hair. Regardless, there's an adjustment period there right?

Speaking of the girl she brought up something last night, albeit while she was drunk, about the way we look at things differently. I mean, she's a planner. While she changes her mind and plans frequently, she is a planner. She's probably got about the next 5 years of her life mapped out. Paths and street names change on that map all the time but it's there and at worst it is a reference point of where she wants to be in life in general.
What's different is the way I look at life. She knows me well enough to know that I am not so much the planner type. Last night she referred to it as having a "high school type outlook on life." I can only imagine that she would have used a different phrasing if not drunk and so bold. You know, you get drunk do a little shooting from the hip and say things as they pop in to your head filter-free.
I understand her point. I believe I do, maybe, lack a vision of the future. I am kind of an in-the-moment type cat. I can't be bothered worrying about tomorrow because it's possible that I won't even be breathing tomorrow. Also, it may be something that is in the back of my head that is whispering "Hey, dickhole. Pssst up here. Why are you setting up these goals that you aren't going to meet. How about you worry about getting through today and not have live with the impending doom of failing at what you have been envisioning for a year?" You know a kind of if I don't plan, I can't fail attitude. Shitty, right? Well not for me. That's just how I and my brain operate. There's also the way of looking at my point of view as really living. This may just be a convenient way of me justifying my fear of committing to something in the future because it all might fall to shit. To me though, the worrying about tomorrow gets in the way of today. I like living day by day.
This all really comes down to my girlfriend and I moving in together when our leases are up in October. See she is doing all this planning and I'm kind of taking the position that we are not going to be looking at apartments now so I'm not going to worry about it.

Ugh. At the end of the day I hope that our differing outlook on life in general and the future just balances us both out. Regardless I'm going to keep living for the day and just letting shit roar. That might be my way of being a coward and having a hippy-like carefree attitude since it's "all cool, bro" that none of my plans are failing because I'm not making any.
My baby-faced self has to get lunch.
Keep it real out there.