Monday, December 28, 2009

Dude, that's how people die!

Christmas is over.
That came and went rather quickly, eh?
Always does.
I had a great 2 days off work. Drank like I was celebrating MY birthday not that little guy in the manger outside the inn.
Well blog, did you get everything you want? Awesome.
Drink enough eggnog? Good.

I myself went out with my good buddy on Christmas Eve. He is a funeral director and always has interesting stories. Between him and my cop friends, it never really stops. Regardless so The Director (as he will be referred to from here on out) and I always get together on Christmas Eve and go out to a bar. It's a tradition. Honestly, I could not talk to the kid throughout the year and we'd still see each other on Christmas Eve. We started at a friends house. Did the family thing and played some games (Apples to Apples/Uno) ya know the usual.

Let's go through the timeline. This might be a bit more fun.

3:00pm - Shake the dust off my dick & shake off the hangover I have from the night before. Shower at my apartment and head over the family xmas eve bash.

3:30 pm - Pick up a case of BL cans and get a good base of food in me. Italian Beef, fried shrimp, chopped salad.

4:00pm - Beer number 3 goes down. I at this point notice that cans are bit more conducive to chugging than bottles.

5:00pm - The director arrives and we begin to drink a bit more haste fully

10:00pm - After many rounds of Apples to Apples and many more beers we decide to head out to a bar in walking distance as we are in no shape to drive. I am accompanied by my friend who's family was hosting the dinner *Newspaper and *The Director.

10:15pm - Arrive at bar complaining about the cold/snow/wind that we just walked through to get to the bar. Decide we are going to have one round & leave. My shoes/socks are soaked. I am already tired. Friend *Newspaper buys first round & closes out tab on his card. We're only going to stay for one round.

10:30pm - I buy a second round for everyone & close that out on my card. This is the last one.

10:50pm - Newspaper leaves. The Director and I continue to take down rounds on his tab.

1:15am - Bump in to ex-girlfriend (Let's call her Red) at another bar that was in walking distance of the bar we were currently at.

1:50am - All parties are kicked out of the bar. The Director, Red and myself walk back to my apartment. We begin tackling a LARGE bottle of Ketel One with Sprite and/or water as a mixer.

5:30am - All parties have dispersed.

6:00am - Pass out on my parents couch in their basement as I have to be up at 8am for Christmas morning with my sis and her kids. I realize if I stay anywhere else I will sleep until at least 4pm.

8:00am - Mom tries to wake me up for Christmas morning gift opening.

8:15am - Mom tries again. This time leaves coffee on the table next to the couch.

8:20am - Some asshole texts me a chain text that has something to do with Xmas. Think of punishing my phone and it's noises by dunking it in the coffee. Instead throw it as far away from me as I can.

9:00am - Everyone is waiting on me. Wake up. Open gifts. Eat breakfast. Sleep.

I woke up at 2:00pm. Started the whole drinking thing again at my sis' this time with my fam.

There was a bit of buzz from the parties that were at my apartment who noticed that Red and I were drunk and were very interested as to whether or not mistakes were made. Honestly? C'mon. All I do here is rant about my girlfriend and how awesome she is. No offense to Red, she's a lovely girl but we use the "ex" title for a reason. I would never jeopardize my current, amazing relationship for a past, failed one. Duh.

The decades balls are going to drop soon. Which, funnily enough symbolize a fresh, young, brand new year. Not a pubescent, pimply, cracky voiced year.
I'm psyched.

Oh, P.S.
The Director texted me the day after Christmas. From memory his text said something to this effect: Dude, how you feeling? I feel like shit. Slept all Christmas. Was throwing up all day. Even threw up in my sleep. Don't remember how I got home. How did I get home?

I responded - "Haha. Real nice. Dude, that's how people die."

He has yet to respond....

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