Tuesday, December 29, 2009

An open lust letter to Lily Allen

Okay. Let's dive into my favorite albums of the year, shall we?
Listen, I realize this is pretty self indulgent and maybe even a bit arrogant.
This page can easily be navigated away from if you think I'm a total dickhead/idiot/music snob/music ignoramus/etc. Either way, let's get down to it...

This list is in no way in specific ranked order. This music as of my typing this right now is undefined as to whether it will be a 20/30/457 best of 09 list so we'll just see what unfolds.
Here we go.

The Dangerous Summer - Reach for the Sun

This album is a gem. While this list is not numbered this would most likely be number one if it was. This album is amazing. The lyrics are so amazing. Easy to relate to. Very personal. The instrumentation sounds beautiful. It's very lush without being over produced. This, to me, feels very much like a summer time album but all around is just one of the better things I've heard this year. There's honestly no throw away tracks here. It shines from front to back.
I am actually turning this on right now to listen to while I type this list out. Phenomenal. If you take nothing else from this list please listen to this album.

Jeremy Enigk - OK Bear

This album is a very close second to the above listed album. Jeremy Enigk is the front man of recently reunited emo pioneers Sunny Day Real Estate. They're good and they're a huge influence on the genre however I've never been a HUGE fan. Just casual listener. So obviously I hadn't really heard much of Enigk's previous solo releases (3 albums and 1 score) and wasn't thinking too much of this release when I checked it out. I was absolutely blown away. Maybe due to the fact that I was not really expecting much but listen after listen this album fails to impress. It's just overall a masterpiece of a rock record. Fuck your genres. If you like rock music and any of it's broad sub genres I suggest you check this out. There's something here for everyone. Lyrics, vocals and music are all lush and diverse. If you haven't heard it, (and most of the "taste makers" lists that I've browsed, pitchfork and the like, I'm looking at you haven't listed it) which I think may be a large possibility, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Wilco - Wilco (The Album)

Love this album. As a Wilco fan I think it's absolutely great. If you're not a Wilco fan I don't think that it's going to bring about a stampede of conversions. Really I think that here they have blended the elements that I love of their past work and kept the songs musically accessible as they were on Sky Blue Sky. So it's radio friendly Wilco of that release, however a bit more experimental to bring back those fans of "YHF" and "Ghost." With lyrics like "...every generation thinks it's the worst, thinks it's the end of the world" it shows that Jeff Tweedy is still in top form as far as his lyrics are concerned. End of the day if you don't like Wilco give it a try. If you don't get it in a couple listens you can chuck this one.

Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You

Oh Lily, Lily, Lily. You and your weird myspace blogs crying about self-image and speaking of suicide. You and that third nipple. You and your cooky, semi-pornographic outfits you've been wearing since your miscarriage/weight loss. You're such a crazy broad. Honestly, if you weren't crazy I don't think you'd be able to make an album this great. Poppy, shiny production with the usual angsty, tongue-in-cheek lyrics (that probably aren't that tongue-in-cheek anymore, really) that we've come to love from you, Lily. My girlfriend really tried her best to make sure I absolutely hate this album. See, every time she has more than 3 beers in her it's a guarantee that she'll grab my iPod, put this on and start singing along. Even with this very nearly being WAY overplayed I can't deny what it is. A great album. One of the best this year. Thanks, Lily.
P.S. I know I mentioned you being crazy and all but I probably still would do, just sayin'.

Shook Ones - The Unquotable A.M.H.

Wow. Amazing hardcore album. I don't really fancy myself a hardcore fan. I mean what with all the beards, tattoos, circle pits, blood and straightedge dudes screaming about politics and animal rights. Then an album like this hits my eardrums. This is probably on the more melodic side of hardcore but it's great. Absolutely love it. Like I said it's melodic. You get some dude screaming at you over some of the quickest hooks you've ever heard played on an instrument. Don't know much of these guys previous work but after this album you can guarantee I'm digging through their entire back catalog. I suggest you do the same starting with this piece.

Ace Enders and a Million Different People - When I Hit the Ground

Ever heard of The Early November? This is that guy.
I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business? That guy, too.
Ace Enders crafts just some wonderful pop gems. They have a bit of a rock edge to them so they're not Jonas Brothers sugary but they will be stuck in your head forever! Honestly it's just a fun, feel good record. Probably the "safest" record on my list with Lily Allen. It's great. Just fun to listen to and fun to sing along with. All music, to me, invokes an emotion and while some you can relate to on a more personal level you still need to be able to just sit back & listen to some jams you don't have to think about. That's what Ace has crafted for you here and it's delicious!

Enough of the explanations.
This is becoming a bit self-indulgent, no?

Here's others I loved this year...
Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Silversun Pickups - Swoon
Brand New - Daisy
Thrice - Beggars
P.O.S. - Never Better
Brother Ali - Us
Alexisonfire - Old Crows/Young Cardinals
Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything to Nothing
Kevin Devine - Brother's Blood
Modest Mouse - No One's First and You're Nxt
Two Tongues - Two Tongues
Say Anything - Say Anything
Felt - Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez
John Mayer - Battle Studies
The Swellers - Ups and Downsizing
Morrissey - Years of Refusal
Set Your Goals - This Will Be the Death of Us
Propogandhi - Supporting Caste
fun. - Aim & Ignite
Thursday - Common Existence
Owen - New Leaves
NoFX - Coaster
St. Vincent - Actor
Why? - Eskimo Snow

Some releases that I am looking forward to in 2010.
The Wonder Years - The Upsides (Ed. note: Shhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone but I've heard this album already. It's amazing!)
Alkaline Trio - This Addiction
Hellogoodbye - TBA
Jimmy Eat World - TBA
The Weakerthans - Honestly don't know if they'll be releasing something but if they do... Man, I'm sure it'll be great!

That's all I'll fill this space with my opinion that any/all could care less about anyway.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Dude, that's how people die!

Christmas is over.
That came and went rather quickly, eh?
Always does.
I had a great 2 days off work. Drank like I was celebrating MY birthday not that little guy in the manger outside the inn.
Well blog, did you get everything you want? Awesome.
Drink enough eggnog? Good.

I myself went out with my good buddy on Christmas Eve. He is a funeral director and always has interesting stories. Between him and my cop friends, it never really stops. Regardless so The Director (as he will be referred to from here on out) and I always get together on Christmas Eve and go out to a bar. It's a tradition. Honestly, I could not talk to the kid throughout the year and we'd still see each other on Christmas Eve. We started at a friends house. Did the family thing and played some games (Apples to Apples/Uno) ya know the usual.

Let's go through the timeline. This might be a bit more fun.

3:00pm - Shake the dust off my dick & shake off the hangover I have from the night before. Shower at my apartment and head over the family xmas eve bash.

3:30 pm - Pick up a case of BL cans and get a good base of food in me. Italian Beef, fried shrimp, chopped salad.

4:00pm - Beer number 3 goes down. I at this point notice that cans are bit more conducive to chugging than bottles.

5:00pm - The director arrives and we begin to drink a bit more haste fully

10:00pm - After many rounds of Apples to Apples and many more beers we decide to head out to a bar in walking distance as we are in no shape to drive. I am accompanied by my friend who's family was hosting the dinner *Newspaper and *The Director.

10:15pm - Arrive at bar complaining about the cold/snow/wind that we just walked through to get to the bar. Decide we are going to have one round & leave. My shoes/socks are soaked. I am already tired. Friend *Newspaper buys first round & closes out tab on his card. We're only going to stay for one round.

10:30pm - I buy a second round for everyone & close that out on my card. This is the last one.

10:50pm - Newspaper leaves. The Director and I continue to take down rounds on his tab.

1:15am - Bump in to ex-girlfriend (Let's call her Red) at another bar that was in walking distance of the bar we were currently at.

1:50am - All parties are kicked out of the bar. The Director, Red and myself walk back to my apartment. We begin tackling a LARGE bottle of Ketel One with Sprite and/or water as a mixer.

5:30am - All parties have dispersed.

6:00am - Pass out on my parents couch in their basement as I have to be up at 8am for Christmas morning with my sis and her kids. I realize if I stay anywhere else I will sleep until at least 4pm.

8:00am - Mom tries to wake me up for Christmas morning gift opening.

8:15am - Mom tries again. This time leaves coffee on the table next to the couch.

8:20am - Some asshole texts me a chain text that has something to do with Xmas. Think of punishing my phone and it's noises by dunking it in the coffee. Instead throw it as far away from me as I can.

9:00am - Everyone is waiting on me. Wake up. Open gifts. Eat breakfast. Sleep.

I woke up at 2:00pm. Started the whole drinking thing again at my sis' this time with my fam.

There was a bit of buzz from the parties that were at my apartment who noticed that Red and I were drunk and were very interested as to whether or not mistakes were made. Honestly? C'mon. All I do here is rant about my girlfriend and how awesome she is. No offense to Red, she's a lovely girl but we use the "ex" title for a reason. I would never jeopardize my current, amazing relationship for a past, failed one. Duh.

The decades balls are going to drop soon. Which, funnily enough symbolize a fresh, young, brand new year. Not a pubescent, pimply, cracky voiced year.
I'm psyched.

Oh, P.S.
The Director texted me the day after Christmas. From memory his text said something to this effect: Dude, how you feeling? I feel like shit. Slept all Christmas. Was throwing up all day. Even threw up in my sleep. Don't remember how I got home. How did I get home?

I responded - "Haha. Real nice. Dude, that's how people die."

He has yet to respond....

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Ho ho ho

The weekend is here, almost.
And it's not really the weekend but it is to me.
I will be done with this place in an hour and a half. I will be rushing home for video games/laundry/vodka. The girlfriend is out of town & with her family for Christmas. It's snowing somethin' fierce out there. I will be in for quite the drive.
I'm working on an albums of 09 list here that is probably going to be, at least, a two parter.

For now I am going to wish a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and whatever else.
Enjoy your snowman building.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

7 inches of fun.

Let's get down to it here. I've started this late in the day at work & have been so busy here that I've not been able to really get much done here in this space.
Holidays are upon us and honestly this space is meant for self-loathing rants about my life/work/etc. Tis not the season for self loathing...

That means, of course, I'm writing lists. Not bothered to check them twice.

Alright. Let's start with EPs that I've found to be the best of this year.
If you don't know what and EP is when talking about recorded music you probably have no use for any of the bands I'm listening her. Also, you probably don't get that joke up there and really think I'm a pervert.

Anyway. Let's get this done.

The Lawrence Arms - Buttsweat and Tears EP
Man, this one really knocked my socks off.
This band is amazing. They are the epitome, for me, of Chicago punk rock. Alkaline Trio was definitely in that category but shyed away to a sort of gothic-emo thing.
TLA are a trio that consist of Brendan (bass/vocals), Chris (guitar/vocal) and Neil (drums/sang on a track once). Brendan gives you your punk rock gravelly, fast-paced delivery while Chris has a smoother drawn out delivery.I've seen them described as "Midwestern, beer-fueled, punk rock" and that hits it right on the head. The band has been around for 10 years and are only getting better. This release is no different.
Brendan's lyrics are amazing as usual and his voice is, for my money, the best in punk rock.
Chris pens a definite contender for song of the year in "The Slowest Drink At the Saddest Bar of on the Snowiest Day In the Greatest City." This song speaks to me in a way that it could almost be autobiographical. I mean with lines like "Walk through the snow to a bar where there's no one I know. Drink slow, drink slow with nowhere to go." Amazing.

The Menzingers - Hold On, Dodge EP
Again just great punk r0ck. I supposed this could be considered a bit on the "pop-punk" side of things but I'm not going to split hairs here. Also, we all know I'm no music elitist!
All this release gives you is four guys chugging through 5 tunes offering blood, sweat (not buttsweat) and honesty. They have dual vocalists that compliment each other nicely not like another veteran band I've heard before. See above asshats!
Honestly, one of the bands that is amazing on record yet somehow even better live. I do suggest checking them out live!

Bon Iver - Blood Bank EP
I get it. I know Bon Iver is oh so indie. So cool for all the hipsters to love and hold them self above you for being musically enlightened compared to you and what not. Honestly, this is just a masterpiece of a recording if you thought that Bon Iver's debut was a masterpiece. I'm not going to go on here to avoid being on of the hipster dildos I complain about. Check it out. It's good.

Fuck. Just like that it's 7pm.
Time to get the fuck out of here. Woo-hoo!
Tomorrow is Friday thanks to that one dude's birthday everyone is supposed to be celebrating but really just take the time to be overall greedy slobs that gossip about their family.
Can't wait.

More awards to follow as this month winds down

Thursday, December 17, 2009

All I want for Christmas is a British accent.

Hey blog.
How are you?
We reached a milestone here in the Dusty Floors camp yesterday. Well, okay it's no milestone. Honestly it's a pretty big deal to me. So I've been out of my parents house for well over two years now. Here is where there's a "milestone." I've made copies of the keys to the apartment and I have given them to the girlfriend. She left them at my apartment as we were leaving this morning, so that may be a sign that she's not interested, but regardless she can access the apartment at any time. I was just kidding there. She realized it immediately & we were in a bit of a daze/rush. I'm not holding it against her.
This is a big step though, innit?
I mean, think about it. There will be absolutely no bringing home a random and slipping it to her because, well, the girl could walk in at any time...
Alright, I'll be real for a second. I was absolutely floored by my girlfriend the second I was introduced to her. I can say that I haven't slept with anyone but her since we hooked up.
It's just the thing of, not being able to do it... I mean, I wasn't going to before but if I had I could quick get dressed, throw this random's clothes at her & shuffle her out the back door once I hear my girlfriend buzz to get in. Now, that's not even an option. Well, I can't move someone out of the apartment in the time I hear a key in the door & the door is opened.
It's fine, actually. I'm really pretty psyched. Big step and I'm psyched about it.

Anyway, I think I'm going to start some lists.
You know, your typical year end list.

I think I'll start with a very prestigious award.
Drum roll...........

Man of the Year 2009
Not hunk of the year. No. I'm talking just overall the best male specimen this year. It was really a tight race. There's Brits, there's sexy industry men, there's gorgeous room mates. Wow, it was tight. In the end it's decided though.

Man of the Year 2009 goes to - Ricky Gervais

Holy shit. I mean the hilarity that was the "Ricky Gervais Guide To...." Podcast series was enough for him to win this one, honestly.
His podcast is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most downloaded/listened to/whatever podcast ever.
In early Feb 2010 the award-winning podcasts are going to be turned in to an animated show to air on HBO.
This man made the original Office. That was not in '09 but that counts toward something, right?
His stand up comedy special on HBO "Out of England" was amazing! Absolutely great!
His "Extras" DVD series, I believe (can't be bothered to research this), was released in '09 so I'm counting that.
Ghost Town is out on DVD. Amazing. Honestly, this movie was so very good. It even took me, a HUGE Gervais fan, by surprise as to the emotional notes it hit and hit well.
He's going to be hosting the Golden Globe awards in Jan '10.
He was THE absolute highlight of the Emmy's.
He hung out with Elmo. I dare you to watch that without laughing.
He was just generously awesome & hilarious.
Well done Ricky! Well done.

That's all for today kids. More lists to come...

Oh, woman of the year you ask?
Uhhhh... Her. Yeah, she's hot. Congrats.

See ya!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sometimes the cigarettes just don't ease all that stress!

Right down to it here today.

Here's what I can suggest to make your workday better and make you happier overall.

1. Smoke. Oh, this is absolutely terrible for your body but it will make you feel great. Also, any one that has ever worked in an office knows damn well that no one will begrudge you a cigarette. The smokers always get more breaks than the non-smokers. All you need to qualify it is just to get very huffy-puffy and say "Ugh! I NEED a cigarette." Storm out & no one will ever say anything to you. It qualifies your back to back smoking and gossiping outside.

2. Start doing someone you work with... NOTE: I am not suggesting you DATE someone you're working with. Oh no. That would be terrible. I am suggesting you just start casually boning someone you work with. You will find yourself passing the time by going over to his/her desk to ask a stupid question you already know the answer to just so you can rub your dick/tit on her/his arm/shoulder whilst you look down her shirt/glare at his dick print. Your day at work is suddenly occupied with your lusting after them. Oh, and you will be able to waste a shit-ton of time sending inappropriate, innuendo laden inter-office e-mails. Then when things go south, and they will. Your energy will be focused on staying the fuck away from this person at all times. Making sure you don't go to the vedding machine at the same time, pass in the hall going to bathroom, etc. Those innuendo laden e-mails turn in to e-mails just explaining that you're "not looking for anything serious right now" and how you were "open and honest in that this wouldn't turn serious."

3. Befriend a manager. This one is important! Befriend a manager and you're in. Oh, you won't be able to get away with murder or anything but you will definitely get special consideration. 10 minutes late? Alright we can look the other way.

4. Piss off a manager. Weird, right? NO! You want to be on management's radar. Good or bad. You can piss of management and if you've found the right manager you will become their "project." They will attempt to "fix" and "mold" you in to the proper employee you should be. Once a manager does this they will of course start phase 1 of getting you on the straight and narrow, taking you under their wing, they will befriend you.

5. Find a good local pub. You're going to need an occasional 3 beer, steak sandwich lunch. Because honestly, sometimes the cigarettes just don't ease all that stress!

6. Get an iPod, radio, some music playing device. This will help speed those dragging Fridays right along. If you want to get really ballsy with this one you can sing along. This will, of course, severely anger your peers.

7. Anger your peers. Oh yeah! This one is great. You can make a bit of a game out of it. Piss someone off & watch them stomp around & gossip to everyone about how you just did the shittiest thing to them. They'll be so pissed when you ask if their pregnant. They'll fly off the handle. Won't be able to take it anymore. They'll have to run outside & smoke and then get 3 beers at lunch. Then the manager will begin to notice and... Back to #3.

8. Internet. If you do not work at a desk job I feel sorry for you. Sure if you're in the service industry or a plumber or something this doesn't really work for you. But if you're at a desk & have a computer that thing had better be internet-ready. This is THE best time waster ever... I'll give you some of my personal faves - Average Cats, Overheard in the Office, Bad Sandwich Chronicles, Photo Bomb, Lamebook.

9. Vtunnel. This goes hand in hand with the above but deserves it's own post. If you do have internet access it's pretty safe to assume that your job has some sort of internet security. "Access Denied" is a term you loathe. Have no fear. The lovely people at vtunnel.com understand your problem and are here to fix it. Oh yeah, it's a portal that lets you slip under the radar of internet browsing security.

10. Get a blog. Oh yeah. Of course, another one that you need to have 8 and 9 to have a shot at but if you do I highly suggest it. I mean not only do you waste time just typing it all out but you can hunt down subjects of posts in the office. Crazy things people say. Stupid situations you need to comment on. Also, the typing while you're posting that days entry will just sound like you're hard at work! Perfect!

That's all. There's the list.
Bye, bye productivity!!!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

That's like a blind man picking out his favorite porno...

Well, I stumbled upon a lovely little article on yahoo today.
A little ditty titled sixteen tips for feeling happier at work.
Oh, I had to take a look at this.

Shall we dissect this, class?

1. Check for eyestrain.
It then goes on to tell me to put my hand to my forehead like a salute to check for brightness issues. Eyestrain? Seriously. I stare at two computer monitors for at least 40 hours a week. My eyes are fucked. Also, this does not have anything to do with my happiness but rather my eye health.

2. Get a good desk chair and take the time to adjust it properly.
Woah, woah. Hold on a sec. Now this lovely article is telling me to purchase a chair for my desk. I have no money to buy a "good" desk chair. Also, I would then have to find a way to transport this to work. I think I'm stuck to this shitty thing that work provided for me.

3. Sit up straight.
What? Are they assuming that I'm a little troll-like freak all hunched over face pressed against the keyboard as I type on it?

4. Indulge in a modest splurge, i.e., consider whether there are ways to spend money that would make a big difference. Could you invest in some desk accessories to help you stay organized? Could you replace an inconvenient lamp with something that works better?
Wha? Save it! I'm not happy at work because they don't pay me enough. They don't pay me enough so I can not "modestly splurge" as my money is all tied up in food and shelter. Tell ya what, If I feel like splurging I'll go buy that nice desk chair you suggested.

5. Get a phone headset.
Stop it. I have one. This does not change my mood at all because there's still douchebags yelling at me on the other end. This is going to happen whether it's a headset or a handset.

6. Don't keep treats around.
This seems more health oriented again. I think I would suggest the opposite. Stress eating, it's great. Also, the author goes on to explain that you can gain weight from a handful of M&Ms each day. No shit. Again, this is health related because in all honesty happiness can be a chocolate bar while stressed, no?

7. Periodically, take time to deep-clean the loose papers that have piled up. I never do this until I specifically schedule a time, but am always amazed at the wonderful calm it brings.
No. I'm stuck at my desk doing my job & now I have to assume another job. I have to clean now, too? You know what? The shit starts piling up I throw it in the fucking trash & you know what someone else does their job and comes and empties that. Done. Also, I don't know that an empty desk is linked to happiness.

8. Never say “yes” on the phone; instead, say, “I’ll get back to you.”
Seems this is turning in to "how to make more work for yourself." I actually think I will say "yes" on the phone & avoid having to get back with people and creating more phone calls for myself.

9. Take care of difficult calls or emails as quickly as possible. Procrastinating just makes it harder; getting them done gives a big boost of relieved energy.
Bullshit. Getting them done leaves me exhausted as I just had to deal with a problem call/e-mail. I agree getting to that shit quickly is the best way. I, however, ALWAYS find that problem calls/e-mails are just that problematic. Upon completion I am just aggravated that I had to deal with said call/e-mail.

10. When accepting a responsibility, imagine that it’s something that you’ll have to do next week. That way you don’t agree to a task just because it seems so far off that it doesn’t seem onerous.
Better tip - don't accept a responsibility above/beyond your job description. Therefore, you will stick to doing your job. Since it's your job I would imagine that any task would be easily completed therefore and you avoid doing anything above/beyond your duties assigned as you are not getting paid for anything above/beyond your duties assigned.

11. Be honest about how you’re spending your time.
I laughed. I would probably be fired on the spot.

12. Go outside at least once a day, and if possible, take a walk. The sunlight and activity is good for your focus, mood, and retention of information.
Winner. This is good advice. However, I would suggest it to just escape your personal hell. I don't know about the whole focus/mood/retention of info thing.

13. Even if you can’t go outside, take a ten-minute break each hour. Studies show that the break boosts your retention level.
Ten minute break every hour? I'm sorry did this just turn in to "how to lose your job?" What kind of employer would ever allow this? Must be nice to have this even be an option.

14. Don’t let yourself get too hungry.
This is a basic life principle. I'm hungry. I will eat.

15. Try to make a lunch date with someone outside the office at least once a week.
So now I have to pretend to be interested in what this fucking asshole is saying outside of work? No thank you. Do that enough during my day at work.

16. Let yourself stay ignorant of things you don’t need to know.
This doesn't even make sense to me. There's no explanation either. Thanks. You expanded on sitting up straight and putting my hand to my head on my forehead for brightness checks but not this. I'm going to hope that this means gossip. That's actually great advice if that's where we're going for.

Tomorrow I'm going to list my guide to being happy at work.
It WILL be gospel.
Ta ta til then.

P.S. I just heard one of my co-workers say she spoke to Skeet Ulrich at the body shop.

Monday, December 14, 2009

From nine to five I'm far away

That lil music experiment was a massive failure.
Sunn O))) is an absolutely terrible band. It's kind of just a little growl from a fuzzy, de-tuned guitar and rumbly, equally fuzzy bass guitar. There is a bit of string work and generally terrible ooooohs and aaaaaaahs from a choir and some dude preaching general doom in a spoken demon-esque voice. I feel it's like what The Candyman would listen to in order to get psyched up to jump you after you beckon him three times in the mirror.
Merzbow, a bit better. That's a tiny bit. I don't really know much or any noise music, really. However, this dude is supposed to be a pioneer, shining example of it. He does have 187 studio release since 1980. That's quite prolific. To me the music is exactly as advertised. Noise. I get it. I can see an appeal. If I was baked I'd probably love all this stuff that much more. However, he has not won over a new listener in me. Nope. That experiment is over.

I guess, while I'm not going to be a music elitist anymore, I have my taste and don't really need to veer to far off that path. I'm pretty open as well. I mean I listen to everything from Alternative Country to Hip Hop. A lot in between, also. Honestly though, open mind and all, could not get in to these two dudes.
I do have to start composing my year end list.
Also I realized I could probably put together a "'best of the decade" list. That might be fun.
While on the topic of music. The girl and I went to that Distant Worlds: The Music of Final Fantasy concert. I had never seen a live orchestra performance and it was amazing. Truly stunning. Full choir with a soloist who had an amazing voice. The orchestra was amazing. The conductor was entertaining. Honestly, I was a little nervous that in his wild flailing he may fall off that little platform he was on but no such thing happened. They also had, nerd alert, a huge screen playing video from the games that related to the music being played. My girlfriend at one point leaned over and whispered "I have no idea what this video game is about." I laughed. Probably not as rewarding if you're not a fan of the video game series and have played through a couple but she dug the experience of the orchestra regardless.
Went over to the sis' last night. Got a bunch of xmas shopping done. Only really have 2 more people left and I am done! It's really alleviating the pressure of getting the shopping done and allowing me to enjoy the holiday time. Sis, girlfriend and I chatted last night quite a bit and had some beers. A little headache this morning but overall feeling good for only 4 hours of sleep.
In summary: great weekend.

Today. Well, it's Monday. I'm going to cap off my 3 and a half hours here with some work and a lot of internet surfing all while listening to "The Ricky Gervais Show" on my iPod.
The girlfriend is working this evening so I'll be home cleaning, doing laundry and playing Final Fantasy. I mean, the concert did inspire me to be a bit more committed to my gaming. Heh.

In this holiday season I must tell you I don't really have a good, solid list of what I want. I just remember as a kid flipping through the Toys-R-Us catalog (this catalog, for those who may not remember, was thicker than a dictionary) circling, underlining and generally coveting all types of things from different pages. Nowadays. Fuck me. Get me some cash and a case of beer and I'm a happy camper.
Don't know when that fades away but Christmas just isn't really the same.
There was talk of the girlfriend and I walking around downtown as it is lovely with all the lights and what not. I'm pretty stoked for that to happen. Other than that, the holiday is just a 4 day weekend from work. Gotta love that no matter who's birthday it is.

Well, I'm not going to start my countdown to Christmas just yet. I still have my girlfriend's family Christmas to attend this Saturday. I'm meeting the extended family this go round. That'll be interesting.

Mondays suck. It is reflected in the quality of this blog.
That's a 2 in a row slump. Ugh.

Happy Holidays.

Oh and yes I did visit with Dennis. He did say crazy shit and it was generally awesome. I could not be bothered to take any of this down/remember it because I was too busy getting retarded myself.

Friday, December 11, 2009


Hey there blog.
It's Friday. Payday Friday to top it off.
Ahhhhh. Gotta love that!
About an hour til quitting time & I was listening to Girl Talk to try and get myself in to a psyched, partying mood. Not happening. I don't think I'm going to that party I went in to such great length explaining yesterday. Just can't be bothered. See being sick for the past week or two has left me with a shit ton of stuff to do around the apartment. Generally just two weeks of cleaning, really. So, I'm going to be responsible (ewwww) and skip the drinking tonight. Well, I'm sure I'll have a beer or two to make the cleaning bearable but won't be parading around Wrigleyville all shithoused.

So now I'm chilling at work listening to Sigur Rós. Some good stuff. It's just beautiful music. Not really the easily accessible stuff I usually listen to. In turn it got me digging around the web for some experimental stuff. I mean, not long ago I was talking about how I won't be a music elitist right? I think the best way to do that is go in to new music with an open mind. Try something out right?
I'm going to check out, when I get home, some Merzbow as he seems to be a pretty popular pioneer of the genre and Japanese. Boom. He's already scoring points. The genre he's classified as is "noise." I don't have any experience in this genre. That's another non-elitist move. Admit that I'm not hip on something. This dude's been around FOREVER and I'm just sitting down and checking him out now. I really don't know what I should be expecting but will check it out and see what it's all about.
Also, I'm going to check out Sunn O))) that are some crazy experimental drone/doom metal type band. Lots of bass & guitar from what I've been reading. I've heard these guys name thrown around in the underground and they're probably not even cool anymore by the time I'm getting in to them. Oh well...

Why all this music talk? Well, I'm just getting ready for the year end. Oh yeah. Gotta come up with my best of 09 lists. Sure gonna be hard.
Enough of that. Man, I really had nothing to say in this space here as it just kinda turned in to boring ass music talk. Great.

Later tonight, after the cleaning, I will most likely be meeting up with an old friend. Dennis is his name. He's a twin. He's weird and I haven't seen this fucker in ages. He says the craziest shit & I sometimes think that he's slightly mentally handicapped. Love him though. I'll definitely keep tabs on all the crazy shit he spews tonight. Maybe I'll have some samplings for you next week. Maybe. Oh. Yeah. So the point is that Dennis and I are meeting up because I haven't seen him in a while. I'm going to pick up the girl from work tonight as she's staying at my place as we have that concert tomorrow. So I'm having Dennis meet me up at the girls' work place. Is this a bit selfish of me? Have him drive all the way in to the heart of the city on a Friday night to meet me because it'd be just a tad more convenient for me. Selfish? Maybe. Great plan. I believe so.

Jesus Herbert Christ.
I'm stopping this right now. This is absolute drivel & almost feel bad about hitting the publish button.
Oh well, they can't all be winners, right.


Thursday, December 10, 2009

My hands are free, my lungs are proud.

Hello there blog.
How we doin' today?
Oh me? Well, I'm at work. Not feeling 100% but I'm at work anyway. I get paid tonight at midnight and am counting down the hours/minutes while I salivate.

Work sucks as usual. I mean it's automatic after time has been taken off that I'm going to walk in to a shit storm of files. That's all that needs to be said about that.

It's freezing cold outside. I mean punch you in the dick, bitter cold once you step outside. I've lived in the city as long as I can remember and I know that it's just going to get worse but that first morning of chilling cold still knocks me on my ass.

So, I have a friend who I am most likely going to be accompanying to a party on Friday. This friend recently became estranged from someone that we both know pretty well. So my friend is looking to go to this party and show the estranged party how well things are going now, etc.
I don't get this.
I don't understand why, for whatever reason, when people go their separate ways that it is so important upon reuniting that they outdo each other with stories of awesomeness. This person is no longer a part of your life for a reason, right? It was not exactly a mutual split so I could understand wanting to show that you're doing alright but what's the best way to do that? I mean there is the possibility of looking quite desperate in the fact that you are trying just a bit too hard to show that you're living life and are happy that it reads "I'm not totally over you, a bit sad, kind of lonely and just want you to notice me, realize what you're missing and come over to rekindle things with me."
I have a feeling this will be interesting.
Here's my thinking though. You only take this approach if you actually aren't over the person totally and aren't doing alright. Thoughts?
I mean I am doing well. I have a girlfriend that I find absolutely amazing and I am in love with. There will be girls at this party that (while I haven't dated, been in a serious relationship with or anything) I've been involved with before and I will in no way be engaging in the who's happier/who's doing better contest. If it comes up I will mention I am happy in my relationship and regret that my girlfriend is working and can not be there.
That's all. I'm happy. I feel great and I have no reason to go out of my way to convey that.

I don't know. I guess I just don't understand it.
To make it even more exciting this event is taking place at a bar. There's going to be alcohol involved. I'm sure things are going to be said that are going to be immediately regretted and/or people will be boned that will be regretted in the morning after the booze wears off.
All whilst I sit back and watch. Amused? Disgusted? Well, we'll have to see about that. I may or may not have an update on Monday. Depends on whether there's anything note worthy going down. If not I'll never mention it again, like nothing happened.

Sincerely yours,

P.S. Holy shit! I almost forgot to explain the title, blog. I myself have been clean from the cigarettes for a full 2 weeks now. Not really something that was a conscious decision. I mean it's not like I was chain smoking. I would have a couple smokes here at the office when stressed.... So quite a bit, actually, heh. But I've been smoke free for a full two weeks. Pat me on the back next time you see me!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Boo hoo.

I'm not feeling well today. I'm convinced I have a sinus infection as I can not remember the last time I've been sick for longer than 3-4 days at max. Ugh. Have I gone to the doctor you ask, blog? Well... No I haven't. Can't be bothered....
I didn't go to work today & really just slept quite a bit. My girl has also called off work. I did not know this would be happening as I'd much rather have spent all day in bed with her. That would probably just lead to a vicious circle of contamination that would help no one... So...
I'm in bed as I have been most of the day. The Blackhawks game will be starting in minutes here and I'm just probably going to doze in/out while watching it...

Sorry blog. Nothing clever today. Nothing really note-worthy, either. My apologies. I will make up for it once my health is back. Promise.

Nitey nite.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Excuse me, go fuck yourself!

Oh me oh my.
Where was I blog?

Oh yeah. Diving in to or really only scratching the surface of how people love to argue. Everything and anything. Here's what it really boils down to in my mind. These people, and they're everywhere, are just miserable fucks themselves.
Listen, I'm guilty of it for sure. An elitist attitude about this or that. Probably mostly music is what I could be called out on being an elitist about.
Back to the point.
Elitist - That dildo that will argue with you all day long & commence his arguing by circling back around and patting himself/herself on the back because he/she obviously just "gets" it more than you do.

Elitism is really just a way for smug, unhappy, stuck up, ignorant, miserable, self-loathing dickheads/vagheads to make themselves feel better. Anytime you're arguing with one of these fuckers they're just trying to bring you down.
I've just recently found out about a "new" band. Let's say it's Alkaline Trio.
I heard Alkaline Trio on the radio yesterday & I fucking love this band.
Well rip my ballsack off, because I'm an absolute 'tard.
Elitist: "You like Alkaline Trio's new stuff? Wow. Poseur."
Oh, and they WILL use the word poseur. These people are just jaded, bitter and sad. They remember the last time that they were excited about something new and it's been so long ago that they're pissed off about it and will immediately shit on anyone they see obtaining the excitement they wish they could have.

Hey blog, do you know why they can no longer be genuinely excited about something and in turn have to shit on every one's parade? Because they are too worried about what other people think. Oh yeah!!! Elitist will tell you that they don't care what people think and that they love PURE music not like radio-friendly Alkaline Trio. That's just bullshit, though. They're SO very worried about how they're being perceived by others that they try to take the extreme line on everything & anything so that they can not be, in any way, open for ridicule. Because for people to be able to ridicule them it would lessen their ridiculous opinion about why the Zune is a better mp3 player than the iPod and if their opinion suffers well, then so does the attention that they crave by expressing said ridiculous opinion.

I don't know when it became cool to shit on someone for being excited about something. I think it needs to stop though.
As I admitted up there I see it in myself some time and this is my vow to NEVER be this elitist jag. I won't do it blog. Never again!

Well, that rant is over.
I can't wait to get out from in front of this computer.
Snow has descended upon the Chicagoland area. While it's not snowing pigs and horses like the weather people claimed there is some on the ground & my ride home will probably be a bit painful. These fucking weather people, I'll tell you, made me 15 minutes early for work today because I was expecting shitty commutes foretold of in the book of revelation. Not so much.
Anyway, I'm getting out of here & heading to the girlfriend's place for dinner & Big Love. Man, I just recently got into this show (feel free to be an elitist and tell me how I don't even understand all the symbolism or how I should just stop watching after season 1 because it's all shit after that) and I think it's phenomenal. Really love it!

Not really up to complaining in this space today.
The holidays are upon us. I get paid on Friday.
My girlfriend got me tickets for an amazing concert/experience and I just don't have it in me... Feels pretty good, blog. Feels pretty good.

Stay classy out there!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Yes, your honor, this man has no dick.

Hello, blog.
The birthday weekend is over... I'm really still celebrating in to this weekend though. I've got that music of Final Fantasy concert on Saturday that I'm getting more & more excited about. The birthday weekend though was great.
Had sushi with the girlfriend and then met up with some friends to see a wonderful burlesque show. The Flaming Dames Christmas themed show was called "Naughtier and Nicer." Honestly, folks this show was amazing. Absolutely great. My girl knows a couple of the starlets/choreographers/make up peeps/etc. I've seen a previous show of theirs and thought it was good. This latest show though was top notch. Look The Flaming Dames up on Facebook or something & check them out. Great stuff. They hold shows at The Spot in Chicago which is a lovely place who's wait stuff is as top notch as the Dames.

Ok. Done plugging that lovely little group.
Not much to report here today blog. I'm an old man now and am no longer exciting. Work is the same. Home life is the same.
I was recently talking to a friend and somehow started talking about sequels. I can not remember for the life of me how it came up or why.
I was then thinking of all the bad sequels v good sequels. Man that's quite a list, innit?

I think I'm going to put in print that list here.
This is in NO WAY definitive. More so just my list toppers...

Good sequels:
The Karate Kid II - Hell yeah! Daniel-san only gets better really. This goes for the entire damn Karate Kid saga. There's that one with Hillary Swank in it but I'm not even counting it if there's no Mr. Kesuke Miyagi. I hear that they may be re-making this film. Will Smith's son is going to be the kid and Jackie Chan is going to be his Asian teacher/sensai. My main problem with this is the fact that Jackie Chan is Chinese. I'm fairly certain that Miyagi is supposed to be Japanese. We gonna re-write the whole story now, folks? Ugh.

Ghostbusters II - Yep. No explanation needed I don't think, right? I mean. Ghostbusters = amazing. Ghostbusters II = also amazing. So long as the sequel doesn't soil the good name of the first then we're all good, right?

World War II - The finale on this one is just so much better than the first, no?

Street Fighter II - Does anyone even remember the first?

Playstation 2 - It played dvds, cds, original playstation games and playstation 2 games. Nerds everywhere saw an immediate rise in the messiness of their rooms and an immediate decline in their chances of having a girlfriend, ever.

Final Fantasy II - Honestly this series gets better and better with each installment. Let alone tracing it all the way back to the 2nd game.

Swine flu - Oh the horror!!! Everyone get their shot. This thing spread fear overnight, amirite? I mean, I don't even know the number given for the bird flu, even if there was one and I'm not remembering it I'm sure that it wasn't as catchy as H1N1. This thing totally dominated. I mean that previous flu was... Ummmm... I don't know........ For the birds!

Okay, so that list got a bit nerdy there in the end... Sorry.....

Now on to the...
Bad sequels:
World War II - 10x the racism. 10x the firepower. Devastating

Swine flu - Really? This again? The bird flu didn't even scare me and now you're going to try and convince me that I'm going to die from eating bacon? What? That's not exactly how it works? Ugh. Whatever. Either way. Bird flu didn't scare me and swine flu doesn't either. I'm pretty sure bird flu got more media coverage too.

The Karate Kid II - No Elizabeth Shue? There's almost no emotional moments to even come close to parallel the karate tournament championship or even the Halloween party. Man, gimme a break with this one. I hear they're going to remake it though. With Will Smith's kid and Jackie Chan... Now that shit I can get behind!!!

Street Fighter II - Ugh. Upgraded graphics, slightly. More characters. It's just not as pure though. Moving away from the platform style of the first this thing is just such a disappointment.

Playstation 2 - Holy flop. Man, Xbox is 10x the system this thing is. Oh sure, you can play your original Playstation games. Big deal. That's all it is good for because the Playstation 2 titles are all hot steaming piles of shit!

Ghostbusters II - "Everything was fine until dickless here cut off the power grid!"
"Is this true?"
"Yes, your honor, this man has no dick." Find me a line nearly as amazing as that anywhere in Ghostbusters II. Heh. Thought so.

Final Fantasy II - This is a sequel that includes absolutely no characters/settings/plot lines from the original. The score sounds recycled from the first. Don't get me started on the lack of changes to the battle system. I'm not even going to mention here the ridiculousness of the "memo system" in which you can remember and refer back to things other parties said to you during the game. All of it is so predictable. Luckily the franchise somehow survived after this turd.

And that's just the way it goes, blog.
That there, to me, is less about sequels but more just about the general opinion on sequels.
Everyone has their reasons why they can't stand The Karate Kid II, etc. Oh, and people love nothing more than to voice their reasoning. They'll really cut you down if you have a different opinion. Maybe if you're agreeing with them but not reaching that conclusion with the same facts. Oh man, they'll chew you up and spit you out for that. People love doing this and I, myself don't get it. Sure, I'm guilty of it sometimes but man....

Ugh. This is getting long and I have work to do... Okay, I chuckled at that myself but I do have some websites to browse whilst scantily working.
Looks like I'm going to have my own sequel in this place some time tomorrow...
Don't wear out the edge of your seat...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Deep breath...... And..... Blow out all those candles!!!

Wow. Well happy birthday to me.
It's actually not until tomorrow but I have plans and I think I'm going to skip all the self loathing on the day of my birth. I will be stuck at work though, so who knows...

First, I would like to congratulate Potbelly Sandwich Co.
You guys have really crafted a winner.
I just had their Turkey Rae for lunch. Turkey, coleslaw, 1000 island dressing. Man. Delicious!
Also, it was a web order and I put my name as Voltron.
Upon picking it up the girl then verified that I was Voltron. Almost hard to believe I'm turning 26.

Well, I just got a text from my cousin wishing me a happy birthday & asking my plans. A day early but hey, at least he's making an effort, right?

Tomorrow... The big day.
I gotta tell ya I'm feeling old in the simple fact that I'm not planning an "apocalypse is upon us" type event. I'm coming in to work during the day. The girl will be doing the same & then it's off to a sushi dinner and a burlesque show. Oh yeah! It's the group that I've seen previously with the girlfriend. I think I've mentioned that in here but can't be certain... Hmmmm... Regardless, sushi, beer, 1/2 naked women.... Successful birthday on paper, no?
I think so.

Also, I've got good news for ya blog. You know that phone I mentioned in this space yesterday? The one that took a bit of a swim in the toilet. Well it has been resuscitated. Oh yeah. Left that guy in a bowl of rice over night & the rice sucked the moisture right out. It's running smooth as ever & does not even smell like fecal matter!

Ugh. I'm tired today. I'm getting a cold that was probably given to me by my girlfriend. She's so generous! So my sinuses are a mess & in turn I feel like I'm using 50% of my brain...

This calls for something to fill this space easily.
It's list time.

So I can't turn on sports radio without hearing about this dude, Tiger.
Seems he's in some hot water....
Here's what you MUST do in any type of situation of infidelity.
Take this with a grain of salt though as I'm not even married and could totally just be talking shit here....

There are 2 keys to successfully cheating

1. The other party must have a significant other. You married? She better be to, pal! Honestly, if you've got a wife that you want to NEVER find out about what's going down there had better be a comparable person in this woman's life. If she has less to lose from this extra marital affair you are fucked in half. It'll be over before it leaves the ground.

2. The other party must be of the same social and/or economic status. Hey senator, do you really think that this bus boy at the local brew pub isn't going to rat you out the second he learns how to speak English?! The CEO of Merrill Lynch never decides to step out with that cute, red headed, slightly chubby, slightly cock eyed, fake breasted, freckled waitress from Hooters. The scales can not be tipped that much. There has to be a balance as far as salary is concerned otherwise he/she will sell you out faster than you can offer her that Tiffany bracelet.

May I just suggest that you not cheat at all? Guys. Ladies. C'mon now. We're not animals. We mate for life.
I myself would never even think about it!!! NEVER!!!
Also, my girlfriend reads this blog. Heh. Love ya, hun.

Honestly, though. If it's that bad dump the person you're with & go bang all the skanky trolls you want. Don't be a pussy & just deal with what comes from the break up. Better for everyone in the end. Then you can stop doing it up against the urinal in a rest stop bathroom.

Stay fly.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Can't stop. Won't stop.

Holy fuck, blog.
It's been a while, eh?
Man... The holidays. Can I just tell you that I have yet to buy a single fucking gift. I'm screwed.
In other news my birthday is Friday. The big 26. I'm old.
Today I was going to take a seat in the bathroom & pulled my phone out of my pocket as I was getting a text and... PLOP. Phone meet toilet. I don't know if that thing is going to be the same... Ugh.

Thanksgiving was a success. The girlfriend was loved by all. I ate lots of food. Mission accomplished.

Listen blog. This ain't gonna happen tonight. I'm in no mood for it. Seriously!
Damaged phone, money to be spent, etc...
It's all too much to even reflect on right now.