Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I don't think that means what you think that means...

Well happy holidays.
It's a wonderful time here at work. What with the 4 day weekends and what not. The only thing is people with auto insurance claims tend to be pissed if they can't get to the stores to camp out and then wrestle with the other savages for all the deals.
Holiday shopping. Man that's a real dick punch, no? I mean I have two nephews, a niece, sister, brother, parents, girlfriend. Fuck. Lots of shopping to do. Thankfully the parents are pretty easy. Standard issue gift cards for all, I think, this year. The girlfriend is getting something that had some thought put in to it and maybe a little more dough but she's worth it. The fam usually sticks to a $50 price range so that's cool.
Gift giving is a weird thing to me. I don't know that I'm good at it.
Feels weird giving/receiving a gift. Don't know what it is. Weird.

Speaking of gift giving I got an early birthday present from the girlfriends family. How sweet, right? Totally didn't expect that! The fam, they're amazing. They seem to like me as well and honestly that makes things pretty awesome. The trip to WI was good. The whole doctor thing with the girl went well.

Well blog, I gotta tell ya. There's a lot to complain about in this space, which is good because that's what keeps this thing ticking. However, I don't feel like complaining. I mean, I have a 4 day weekend coming up. I'm taking a detour from complaining.

I'm going to reflect on what is good in the Dusty Floors camp.
List? Oh yeah, I think it's time for a list...

The Girlfriend - Honestly, not surprising is it? I mean if I'm not complaining on here I'm talking about looking forward to doing something with her or just talking about her general awesomeness. To be truthful, I haven't even scraped the surface of her awesomenisity (making up words is something I'm thankful for, too) as I feel like that could get really cheesy real quick. She's just all around amazing and she's hot. Not in the way that your friend with the average looking girlfriend qualifies her best qualities as being "hot." No siree. She's real life hot. Generally one of the most caring people I've ever known, too. It comes so natural to her to think about others. Phenomenal.

The Job - Probably should put "a job" I guess. Seriously though with the way things are out there today I've got one of these and while I loathe nearly everything about it, I have one. Hopefully it's a stepping stone to a better job but we'll just see how that unfolds.

Family - Man, my family rocks. Maybe it's because it's been a while since we've all gotten together or maybe because I spent the weekend with the girls fam and that made me think of my fam a bit. I don't know but regardless I love 'em. Oh yeah. Even the crazy uncle that will forever call me by my brother's name at least twice throughout the evening. Yep, you creep me out sometimes Uncle Ronald but you're the fucking man!
I will have beers with my Uncle Rich who's the stereotypical leather clad biker dude.
I'll feel a bit awkward when everyone can't believe just what came out of Aunt Lucy's mouth in front of the kids and I'll love it.
My Uncle Jimmy & my dad will argue about something because neither are ever wrong & I'll just sit back, take a sip of beer and soak in the wonderful argument.
My sis will most definitely try to keep everyone happy. Man, that girl can't stand if anyone is anything but absolutely ecstatic to be there. To a fault really. You know what though? I love her for it. She keeps it posi at all times possible.
The girl is coming with me so I'm sure we will have a quick Q&A session and then general questions throughout the night. Piercings and tattoos may be questioned/discussed/judged. I'll love every second of it, though.

Friends - Oh yeah. I got friends. Let me tell you. They are some of the greatest people around. Sure they act like assholes, constantly pick on me, are slobby/drunk/ignorant but they are serious friends. Honestly I had friends tell me I was getting fat. Which I was. That's a true friend. It's not pretty, you won't want to hear it but you gotta know. Porky, put down the bag of Doritos and PlayStation controller & go for a jog. That's true friendship right there.

Music - Playing it. Attempting to write it. Listening to and interpreting it. There's is nothing I love more.

Well, that was lovely. Pretty appropriate for this season of giving thanks too, no?
Ah. That felt good. We did good today, blog.

Much love xoxo

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Quickly.... QUICKLY........

Found a new website...

Was going to blog before leaving for WI with the girl tonight but due to that there website that's not going to happen... Oh no.

I'm sure the weekend will be good. Sans the doctor's office but again, I've been notified to not worry about that... Having too much fun playing great Nintendo games to be worried about it although I may be a little anxious sitting around tomorrow waiting for the girl to get off work and during the drive and what not.

Happy gaming!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Ahhhhhhhhh... Ahhhhhhh. Ah.... CHOO!

Being sick. Terrible, innit?
At my place with the girlfriend. My stomach is a mess... This may be attributed to a couple too many bears last night but man, I'll tell ya the beer shits definitely kept me from work today.

The girlfriend is also sick. Ugh. Currently she is sleeping on the couch next to me while I watch programs recorded on my DVR. It sucks, her just sitting there and feeling so terrible & there's nothing I can do.

Ugh... I think I'm going to have to eat something. The girl and I were going to make chicken for dinner but that's being shelved. Last night we did make fajitas. Pretty good... The fajitas consisted of portobello, assorted bell peppers, onion, cilantro, jalapeno and a packaged fajita sauce with rice. I think it was delicious! Don't think that's the source of the sickness. Wait, I covered that. We're definitely blaming it on the drinks.

I think I'm going to get back to playing Bejeweled Blitz and watching Dinner: Impossible.

Work tomorrow, ugh...
Then it's off to WI this weekend through Monday.

Cough cough sneeze.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wasting away 8 hours of the day.
That's what I've been doing at work today. Just recently stumbled on to this website and I absolutely love it. See, 8 hours desk job = lots of internet time killing. Such as the words typed here. I just can't get in to the groove today. Usually at work the time killing is saved until later in the day when the phone calls slow down & people start to file out. This week though, not happening. I'm just wasting time all day. I mean I am getting things done but really just the minimum to get through the day. It sucks. I feel good when I'm productive but the changes going on at this place leave me with the general feeling of not being able to muster up any drive to do something when it will not be acknowledged and certainly will not further my status here.
Ugh. I really gotta get a new job.
I was talking to the room mate this morning & he was telling me how he just hates going to his job in the morning. While it's not that serious for me, I do notice when I get here and see everything around me that gives me the reason to hate this place I feel that hatred bubbling up.

As I'm typing this my iPod is playing at my desk in the little radio I have for it & it's playing the Butch Walker song "Uncomfortably Numb." The chorus is "I've gotta get out of Los Angeles. I've gotta get Los Angeles out of me."
I think that relates to this place kind of.
I mean I've gotta get out of this place. I think, however, I won't have the drive to do so until I "get this place outta me." Does that make sense? I mean I have friends here and I know all the procedures and how to handle the claims. It's kind of comfortable. Until, I get the ease of the normal day to day here I may have the fire under my ass to get out of here and improve my overall situation.
See, this is where I should be slapped in the fucking mouth. I come on this thing here and generally just complain about how this place sucks and all that but what have I done to change my situation? Not a god damned thing. So now I'm sitting here half doing my job half typing this out and listening to my neighbor complain about the dude she's currently dating.
I find it amazing how some people can just chat aimlessly at you even though you show absolutely no interest in what is being said. That's a fucking talent, ain't' it? I make it known through body language that I don't care. If I'm not turning around to face you as you chat me up what gives you the impression that I care?
I've found that I can just call someone on a file and usually when I start handling that call the chatter stops.... Only temporarily though. Once I hang that phone up we're back to discussing weekend plans. Awesome.

Fuck me. That's it. After the holidays I'm done. I'm absolutely pursuing something else job wise. I don't care if it's not in the field of insurance that I'm used to and have been in for the past 8 years. I could use being thrown into a new/unfamiliar setting, I think.

No doubt though, that this place is not going to do shit for me. Since I'm barely doing shit for this place then we should probably call it a day, no?

Ugh. I feel defeated.

In other news the Sheperd's Pie was delicious. The girlfriend helped out quite a bit, thankfully because I'm still kinda clueless in the kitchen.
Got leftovers for lunch today. Only an hour now until I get to enjoy that and have a half hour of peace before grinding out my last 5 hours at this place. Fuck.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Oh, the trouble we could get in so let's screw this one up right.

Hey there blog.
Holy shit. Two days in a row. Unbelievable.
Yeah, I'm going to keep it more consistent here. Again, gotta be a miserable, self-loathing, pathetic, whiny wimp here so I'm not one in the real world.

So, the girlfriend stuck around at the bar she works at after she was done serving. She got drunk. So, I was going to pick her up and go to my place but I made the executive decision to get her to her house as she had to work in the morning & was already pretty drunk.
We got to talking & in her drunken state she brought up talk about moving in.
This was funny to me because the room mate was JUST talking about this with me on Sunday. Also, crazy wasted from the football drinking game but this was twice now in as many days.
I thought about it and it honestly makes sense. We both practically live together already. It'd save all 3 of us (me, roomie and girlfriend) money on rent. It'd save me a lot of time with driving from Rolling Meadows to downtown Chicago to pick her up from work and then take her to her apartment (Lakeview) or my place (Jeff Park). While I'm not logging those miles daily or anything there's a good amount of times that this is my daily route.

So we start talking about this & we're figuring out how we're going to get all her stuff to my place & then we start hitting the details. She loves her recliner. It's a nice recliner. Although, there's no room for her recliner at my place. No room in the living room & I have a hunch that, while the recliner is lovely, the room mate might not share the love I and the girl have for said recliner.
That's not fair is it? Hey, you can move in but you can not bring any of your stuff... It would totally be like it's me and my roomie's place but we're still charging the girlfriend a third of the rent but not allowing her to have input as to what goes where/etc.
I was telling her about the texts I was sending to the roomie and she felt like I was being nice & she feels like she was being a bitch about it. We both were certainly getting irritated in having discussions of what's going where and all that but I don't think either of us were being unreasonable. End of the day I feel like it'd be a MUCH different situation if I lived alone & she was just moving her stuff in.
Honestly, it was quite a bit of emotions to go through in that one night...

There was the excitement of her moving in when we decided that it was gonna happen.
There was the irritation that came with the discussion of personal effects being moved here/there and my room being taken over.
Then there was the disappointment that comes with realizing that we are indeed not going to be able to work this out.

All that in honestly, about 2 hours. There was never really any anger. We didn't yell/throw things/slap each other around. It was fine. At the end of the day though it's a little disappointing. I guess it really doesn't matter because we're fine at the end of it but we took a huge step there & then just realized that we had to jump back and it really wasn't because of us necessarily. It's not something that we can control at this point. I have a room mate. She has a studio apartment. Not conducive of absorbing each other and all their belongings, is it?
Ugh. Oh well.

In other news she's working today and has promised to not get as hammered as last night. I'm going to be picking her up and going home to cook dinner... Shepard's Pie.


Monday, November 16, 2009

Drinking, popping, shooting, toking...

Ugh. Hungover again... Why do I do it to myself? No clue.

The roommate and myself made a football drinking game up yesterday.
Insanely fun and it gets you hammered!!! I woke up this morning and felt absolutely terrible. The roommate stayed home from work today, I think and I was raging with jealousy. The day has gone by pretty slow.
I've got a laundry list of complaints today blog...
This space is so damn miserable all the time. Just complaint, complaint, complaint. I think it's doing this here that keeps me from being a miserable fuck out there in the real world so........... It's working out.

Complaints are many.
Work sucks. They've moved my desk. See, I always complained that I sat next to the "coven" which is a bunch of girls that chatted & gossiped all day long. You know what though? They weren't bad. They weren't too malicious & I'd even consider one of them a friend & we've hung out outside of work on occasion... Well, I've been moved. Almost everyone has. There's been a huge shuffle to prepare for this Gateway Team.
Also, I will not be a team leader for the GT. See, I was previously talked to about my tardiness to work. This happened after they switched me to start an hour earlier... So I was late a bunch when they moved me to an earlier start time but that stopped after my move back to my current and preferred shift. So, the team leaders have to have a spotless record. No verbal warnings/written warnings/history of punching management/etc. Well, I'm out of the running because of the lateness that they brought upon themselves.
I probably should realize that it's your job to show up at your scheduled time. However, in an instance such as this I feel like maybe, just maybe you guys could cut me some slack. Nope. Not wavering on this one.

So now, I've moved by people I can't stand. I'm still in the top 3 employees production/case load wise and I've been blacklisted from any foreseeable opportunities of promotion.
How long do you possibly think I'm staying here? I am overqualified for the job. That's not me being a dildo thinking I'm the shit. It's the truth.
I've really been lately feeling like I need a change of scenery. I don't know that I want to stay in this fucking insurance industry. But what the hell else am I going to do? I have no idea how to do anything else. I'm an old dog. I have no college education. Fuck me. I think I'm screwed.
Also, I feel like that grass is always greener, innit?
My girlfriend is looking for a steady job that has something to do with what she went to college for but in some ways I kind of envy her service industry job. I mean, she's got LOTS to deal with in way of assholes/douchebags/idiots/mongoloids and that's just management, don't get me started on the customers... Ohhhhhhhhhhh SNAP. ZING! That was a good one, see what I did there? Anyway, there are nights that everything goes well. She's in a good mood, made good money, had nice tables, had free food & drank a couple discounted beers after work... Sounds awesome, right? I just don't know. The grass is always greener on the other side, kids....

Uh. Speaking of girlfriend I got pretty plowed last night from the inaugural J&J Football Drinking Game and sent some stupid drunk texts... I was literally blacked out & wouldn't have remembered these had I not revisited the inbox/sent items folder this morning. It had something to do with the whole thought process of wanting to be with someone that cares about you more than you do them. I called her lucky because I am the "carer" in our relationship. That's ridiculous. I don't necessarily believe that. I mean, I am absolutely crazy about her but I realize that she is also crazy about me. Do we need to mention that Music of Final Fantasy concert, again? Ugh. Emo drunk. What the fuck?

Well, I'll end this on a high note. I have next Monday off! That's the week of Thanksgiving so I only have to work Tuesday and Wednesday that week. Nice.... WAIT! Scratch that! That's a complaint because I have the day off so I can accompany her to the doctor. Fuck! That's a complaint too....

Okay, enough self loathing for today.
Take care!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Well, well, well.

This change of format is not working for me. I spent the night at the girls last night & didn't get a chance to write in here. Going there again tonight so more of the same. So now I'm squeezing this in during the down time at work during which I'd be reading headlines and generally just blowing off the last hour of work.

Well, I submitted my resume to the powers that be to possibly be a "team leader." I'm kind of conflicted. It will look good having leadership experience on my resume but also some of these people here are such incompetent dildos that I don't know that I want to be held accountable for their work product. I mean like they say you can throw a nerd in a bowl full of tits but you can't be held responsible if he comes up sucking his thumb. They still say that, right? Good. Don't want to sound like an idiot here.
So I submitted my resume & the interview is going to be Friday. I'm not nervous at all to be honest with you as I am (not to be super confident or anything but it is the truth) over qualified for this job. So I would think that makes me over qualified to tell people how to do this job.
One thing that is making me a bit anxious is the thought of one day, without realizing, turning into that boss... You know the one that tells you "Hey the phone's ringing. We're gonna need to pick that up."
Hold the fuck on.
This is a call center & we need to answer the phone when it rings? Holy shit!!! I had no idea... Or, is that you just didn't think I couldn't see the lights blinking on my phone? Is it possible that you assume that I am going to drop EVERYTHING that I'm doing right now to answer that phone call?
I suppose, to play devil's advocate here, that the manager is just fed up. Because there are people that seem to sit there, look at the blinking light and seemingly decide that they just aren't going to do their job and answer that call. So at that point the manager probably thinks "Hey this mouth breather must not realize that there's a fucking phone call out there because fuck face is sitting there putting on eye liner in the mirror while playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. I'm going to go let her know that there's a call & remind her that she needs to answer it because she's obviously forgotten."
I mean, I think I'd be able to keep the dickheadedness to a minimum but I also kind of doubt it.
Maybe I shouldn't even worry about how the position is going to change me until I actually interview for the fucking thing, eh?

In personal, non work stuff I'm getting fat.
I just feel it. I should probably step on a scale and test that out but I'm certain I'm getting fat & don't need that scale to see it.
I really am out of shape & that whole running thing I was so geeked about in this very space hasn't really materialized into anything above/beyond that one night, really.
There's some stress with the girlfriend who has a visit with the doctor that she assures me is not anything to worry about at all but I'd be a dick if I just let it go at that, right? I mean anything that has to do with any type of surgery or procedure is something that is going to raise some concern no matter how routine it is right?
I guess I have different views on the doctor. I mean I'm a dude so I don't have any parts that require regular maintenance so I'm not going to see that fucker unless it's serious. Anyway I'm lead to believe that this isn't serious but I feel like doctors visit/hospitals/shit like that is what boyfriends get paid for so I'm going to do my bit & sit in a waiting room reading Highlights magazine if that is what's needed of me but overall I'm just gonna be there...
I doubt they'll have Highlights in the waiting room of her doc. Don't want to give the impression that I'm dating someone that would be going to a pediatrician or anything... Don't get that impression dark void of cyberspace that absorbs these words. Please don't. It'd be embarrassing for both of us.
What the fuck?
I'm going crazy. I gotta get outta here!
I'm going to sit through traffic but my reward is some BL at the girls place.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Who Are You?

Wow. I've been neglecting this piece again.
It's really because of my work being busy. That account transfer, as discussed here before, is kicking my ass... I mean, I'm not too overwhelmed but enough to keep my general anxious feeling right where it's just tolerable and below the surface.

So... I think this is going to turn in to a before sleep kinda, reflection on the day thing.
Yeah, that will work.
I've got internet at the house hooked up. Comcast wins. God, the monopoly this company has on Chicago land cable is disgusting to me. The room mate took care of all of this as I refused to deal with those dildos.

Back to work. There is a new team that is getting started up called the "Gateway Team." I'm not going to go in to all the boring details but they need two team leaders. Everyone is saying that I should be one of them. I guess it looks good on a resume but really it's just going to be a title for the time being. If I'm looking to get out of there ASAP what does it matter if I'm a team leader for a month or two, right?
I don't know if I'm subconsciously being lazy or if my train of thought is actually valid. Well, I have until close of business tomorrow to figure out if I want to apply for it or not.

In other news my apartment is a god damned sweatbox right now. Honestly it's like 80 degrees in this fucker. The temp control thing is set at 72 degrees. I tend to believe that's a bit high but compromises are the name of the game when you have a room mate, right? If that's the worst of our arguments/disagreements we're not doing too bad. I have a window open in my room but that is not helping too much. I'm sure that this hot laptop I have on my lap isn't really helping too much either but fuck me if I'm not sweating right now.

So I missed the trip to WI I was going to take with the girlfriend. Something came up. It was not more important but it was something that needed my attention a bit more than a birthday party. I was kinda bummed but no worries. I'm going to meet the extended fam on Dec 19th for Xmas. So there's that. All is good though as the girl got to still get up there. She doesn't drive so I gave her my car for the weekend. She treated her right & brought her back with a near full tank so the girlfriend just proves that she is as fantastic as I thought.

Well... I don't know how I like the change of format here, blog. But I think after a couple bumps in the road we'll get used to it.
I'm going to play video games until I fall asleep...
What am I playing? Final Fantasy IX. Fuck yeah.
Although since I was just speaking about how fantastic the girl is I'll throw this ditty out there... She got me, for my birthday, tickets to go see Distant Worlds: The Music of Final Fantasy. It's a whole orchestra/choir that busts out every one's favorite songs from the Final Fantasy video game series... Word on the street is the set is about 2.5 hours. Love it!
What's pretty awesome as well is this shows that the girlfriend may be as in to me as I am in to her, right? Because if she's willing to not only overlook this nerdiness but actually participate in it with me, well that speaks volumes doesn't it?

I think it does.

Nite. Nite.
I'm going to fall asleep whistling string progressions from FF songs.